Unscrewed

Why does the promise of sexual freedom still leave so many people constrained? In Unscrewed, Jaclyn Friedman reveals that modern sexual culture is built on paradox: glossy gestures of self-expression coexist with deep structural inequities. The book argues that real sexual autonomy requires systemic power—not just confidence slogans or commercial self-help. Across history, medicine, media, politics, and personal relationships, Friedman shows how institutions still dictate who can feel safe, visible, and respected in their sexual lives.

The illusion of liberation

You live in an era that markets sex as empowerment. Advertising and pop culture tell you that visibility equals freedom: post a bold selfie, buy lingerie, and you are a feminist warrior. Friedman calls this pattern fauxpowerment — a cultural mirage that sells personal upgrades while ignoring the institutions that make people unsafe. Examples like Leigh Anne Arthur, the teacher fired after a stolen nude, and Janese Talton-Jackson, murdered for refusing advances, demonstrate that confidence cannot compensate for systemic failure. Real empowerment demands collective solutions: laws, education, safety nets, and justice structures.

Historical continuity and unfinished revolutions

Friedman situates today’s promises inside an incomplete sexual revolution. The 1960s brought contraception, feminist organizing, and public talk about desire. Yet, the benefits were uneven: Loretta Ross suffered sterilization from the Dalkon Shield IUD, and poor women faced coerced medical procedures. The Feminist Sex Wars divided activists, pitting anti-porn feminists against pro-sex advocates like Ellen Willis. The Reagan era’s backlash further fragmented progress, reinstating abstinence-only education and restricting abortion rights. Ross’s later leadership in the reproductive justice movement reframed autonomy as intersectional—linking sex, race, economics, and health as inseparable.

Power and knowledge gaps

Friedman turns to science to expose how ignorance reinforces oppression. Researcher Meredith Chivers’s studies on the concordance gap—where women’s physiological arousal doesn’t always match subjective desire—show how culture distorts understanding of consent. Women are told their bodies “lie,” rather than that safety and meaning shape arousal. When Friedman participated in Chivers’s SageLab experiments, she realized how validating accurate data can be. Knowledge itself becomes an act of liberation. Devices like the Lioness vibrator, which records biometric feedback, reflect a growing female-led data revolution—but systemic support for such research remains minimal.

Culture, economy, and authorship

The media depicts sexuality constantly, yet Friedman warns that representation without authorship is decoration. When women hold the camera, as directors like Ava DuVernay or creators like Tani Ikeda do, you see new narratives of consent and self-determination. Meanwhile, neoliberal markets profit from sexual visibility—selling lip plumpers, “female Viagra,” and porn conglomerates like MindGeek shaping public expectation. Ethical alternatives such as TrenchcoatX and Pink Label TV survive only if consumers pay for them. Marketplace feminism replaces community power with consumer choice, mistaking purchase for progress.

Structures of control and defiance

In government and religion, Friedman traces how conservative Christianity molds policy. Hobby Lobby’s exemption from contraception coverage and crisis pregnancy centers’ state-funded misinformation reveal how theocratic influence curtails autonomy. Activists like Cherisse Scott resist through faith-based reproductive justice, while the Satanic Temple uses parody to expose hypocrisy. Simultaneously, pervasive respectability politics—especially aimed at Black women and LGBTQ people—police whose sexuality is seen as legitimate. Brittney Cooper and Tamara Winfrey Harris argue for discarding respectability altogether to reclaim full humanity.

Systems of violence and reform

Violence itself underpins sexual inequality. Sarah Deer’s Indigenous theory of rape reframes assault as an invasion of body and spirit, rooted in colonial erasure of sovereignty. From boarding-school abuse to jurisdiction gaps that left Native women unprotected, Deer’s advocacy through the Tribal Law and Order Act and VAWA shows how law can restore dignity when restructured. Parallel systems still fail survivors: rape myths discredit victims, as seen in the Jian Ghomeshi trial where survivors’ post-assault behavior was weaponized. Silence becomes a shield for perpetrators, reinforcing cycles of harm.

Repairing cultures and competencies

Friedman ends with hope. Reforming masculinity, training professionals, and empowering youth are practical steps toward change. Programs like Maine Boys to Men teach empathy before toxic norms take hold. Professional trainers like Bianca Palmisano and Bianca Laureano integrate pleasure, pain, and consent into medicine and education. Teen councils in Alaska and elsewhere fill gaps in sex education, teaching negotiation and advocacy despite censorship. Online, coalitions such as #FBrape pressure platforms to protect users from harassment and revenge porn. Each initiative demonstrates how systemic repair begins locally but scales through solidarity.

Core message

Real sexual empowerment isn’t bought, branded, or staged—it’s built collectively. Friedman’s book teaches that freedom requires institutions that value consent, invest in education and care, and trust people with truth about their bodies and desires.

Through that lens, Unscrewed becomes not just a diagnosis but a manual for transformation: from illusion to integrity, from market feminism to community power, from noise to structural freedom.

Friedman names fauxpowerment as today’s defining trap. It feels like liberation because it sparkles—sexual self-display, branded confidence, selfies of boldness—but what it sells is isolation. You’re told that you alone can solve sexism by upgrading your inner attitude or purchasing empowerment products. Yet, systemic constraints—job discrimination, violence, healthcare barriers—stay untouched. Fauxpowerment converts rage into shopping.

How it operates

Pop feminism and commercial marketing merge to make empowerment a commodity. Naomi Wolf’s “G-spot prescription” and celebrity sexual anthems mirror what Friedman critiques: rhetoric of choice detached from structural reality. Ads promise freedom but deliver spectatorship. Instead of dismantling power hierarchies, they encourage women to perform confidence while institutions remain unchanged.

Why it harms

When the glitter fades, people feel defective. Leigh Anne Arthur’s firing after a stolen nude proved the fragility of supposed empowerment. Janese Talton-Jackson’s murder for saying no revealed how visibility cannot stop violence. Courage isn’t armor; structural injustice can pierce glamour easily. The result is shame and self-blame, not true power.

The alternative

Real empowerment is collective. Sex workers organizing for labor rights, activists lobbying for rape-kit funding, and community groups demanding inclusive education model sustainable autonomy. These efforts are less photogenic but far more durable. Friedman’s insight is plain: individual feelings of freedom mean little until communities share real control over safety, health, and representation.

Freedom begins with bodily sovereignty, yet religion and state collusion continually restrict it. Friedman documents how conservative Christianity and neoliberal politics intertwine to shape reproductive access. Hobby Lobby’s case leveraged “religious freedom” to deny contraception, signaling how corporate faith influences law. Crisis pregnancy centers deceive clients under state funding, replacing healthcare with ideology.

Faith-based resistance

Not all faith restricts. Cherisse Scott’s Sister Reach and Loretta Ross’s reproductive justice movement reclaim theology as liberation. By training clergy to advocate reproductive rights and connecting faith to social justice, they counter narratives that equate morality with control. The Satanic Temple’s symbolic protests highlight hypocrisy, using parody lawsuits to defend bodily autonomy.

Intersectionality and justice

The reproductive justice framework expands beyond privacy rights. It insists that choice means little unless accompanied by safe housing, healthcare, and freedom from racial and economic coercion. Ross and allies argue that policy change must be inclusive—otherwise, women of color and poor women remain vulnerable despite legal victories. This structural lens transforms “pro-choice” into a comprehensive vision of freedom grounded in equity and community.

You might assume modern science understands female sexuality as thoroughly as male. Friedman’s research reveals the opposite: centuries of medical bias have left critical gaps. Only in the 1990s did researcher Helen O’Connell fully map the internal clitoral structure. Meredith Chivers’s SageLab continues that inquiry, measuring physiological arousal alongside subjective response to highlight a key divide—the concordance gap.

The concordance gap

Women’s bodies sometimes respond to varied stimuli even when subjective desire feels absent. Friedman's participation in this research illuminated how safety and meaning govern responses. The gap warns against equating physical signs with consent—a legal and ethical danger. Science validates complexity, proving that desire isn’t mechanical but contextual.

Technological and cultural renewal

Tools like the Lioness vibrator and user-generated data sets promise new forms of empowerment. Liz Klinger’s biometric inventions let women visualize arousal patterns and communicate better with partners. Yet Friedman cautions against corporate control: who owns this data matters. Supporting female-led research and demanding medical education that includes sexual diversity are key steps toward closing the scientific gender gap. Knowledge itself becomes a political act of reclamation.

Media defines how sexuality is perceived, but authorship determines whether representation liberates or confines. Friedman analyzes how Beyoncé’s performances sparked debate about empowerment. Emma Watson’s critique and Tani Ikeda’s ImMEDIAte Justice illustrate the distinction: seeing sexualized imagery isn’t inherently freeing unless women and marginalized creators control production and profit.

Authorship transforms meaning

When women lead creative teams—DuVernay, Soloway, Rhimes—they rewrite who holds pleasure and power. They turn spectacle into storytelling. Ikeda’s youth program trains girls of color to craft narratives about consent and identity, shifting the conversation from objectification to authorship. The difference between being filmed and filming oneself is about agency, not aesthetics.

Practical cultural change

Friedman urges you to support diverse creators and media literacy education. Algorithms and critics still favor male perspectives; rebalancing who gets funded reshapes imagination itself. Representation is necessary, but authorship makes it powerful—an actionable call to rebuild storytelling ecosystems so multiple sexualities can appear without penalty.

Sexual violence persists not only through acts but through disbelief. Friedman exposes how laws, media, and courts erode survivor credibility. In the Jian Ghomeshi trial, defense attorneys used victims’ polite follow-up messages as evidence of falsity, ignoring trauma patterns of placation and denial. These disbelief rituals deter reporting and enable repeat offenders.

Consequences of disbelief

After sensational trials, rape reports drop dramatically; media framing teaches audiences that survivors will be humiliated. The research of David Lisak and Paul Miller documents serial offenders who thrive on impunity, assaulting multiple victims. Silencing survivors sustains predators and perpetuates cycles.

Alternative frameworks

Reforms must center trauma-informed justice. Training judges, adopting affirmative consent standards, and integrating expert testimony about trauma responses counter outdated myths. Friedman links this to Indigenous advocacy: Sarah Deer’s legal philosophy treats rape as invasion of spirit, demanding policy that honors survivor dignity. Credibility must be restored as a social rather than individual project—believing survivors to collectively reduce harm.

To change sexual culture, you must also remake masculinity. Friedman profiles programs like Maine Boys to Men (MBTM), where facilitators teach empathy and vulnerability long before boys internalize toxic norms. Through activities like the “gender box,” participants explore how rigidity damages emotional life and fuels dominance.

Reeducating emotional reflexes

Boys learn that fragility masquerades as strength when cruelty earns respect. MBTM’s experiential exercises—sharing stories of loss or recognition—turn vulnerability into competence. Similar values appear in international programs like Kenya’s Your Moment of Truth, proving cultural adaptability.

Durable transformation

Short campaigns rarely shift norms; long-term cultural modeling is essential. Friedman names public examples—Steph Curry’s caregiving, Frank Ocean’s emotional openness—as alternative masculinities. When society rewards empathy, prevention follows naturally. Rewriting masculinity is both violence reduction and emotional expansion, essential to any sustainable sexual freedom.

Sexual literacy begins with education and continues through professional practice and digital life. Friedman shows how ignorance across systems compounds harm. In most U.S. states, sex ed is fragmented or censored; teens arrive at adulthood without tools for consent or pleasure. Teen councils in Juneau model repair by teaching peers and lobbying policymakers—proof that youth activism can reform policy from below.

Professional gaps

Doctors, reporters, and lawyers frequently mishandle sexuality due to missing training. Experts like Bianca Palmisano coach clinicians to ask about pleasure and pain, normalizing sexual health. Journalist toolkits encourage trauma-informed reporting but lack institutional uptake. Bianca Laureano’s reforms expand sex-educator certification to include queer and racial representation. Competence in sexuality across professions reduces harm and stigma system-wide.

Digital culture and responsibility

The Internet amplifies both activism and abuse. Harassment, doxxing, and revenge porn persist due to platform negligence. Campaigns like #FBrape and Soraya Chemaly’s advocacy demonstrate that accountability is feasible through pressure and coalition. When platforms design with consent and equity in mind, they transform from amplifiers of harm to engines of solidarity.

Education, training, and technological ethics complete Friedman’s map: comprehensive power requires informed institutions and digital spaces built for safety rather than spectacle.