Triggers

Why do you often fail to become the person you want to be? Marshall Goldsmith’s Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts—Becoming the Person You Want to Be begins with this deceptively simple but profound question. Despite our best intentions, goals, and plans, something—usually unseen and immediate—throws us off course. Goldsmith identifies that “something” as triggers: environmental stimuli that unconsciously shape our behavior for better or worse.

Goldsmith, famous for coaching some of the world’s top leaders (including Alan Mulally at Ford and Frances Hesselbein of the Girl Scouts), argues that understanding how triggers affect us is key to mastering behavior change. His central message is clear: our environment continually influences us, often invisibly, and if we don’t take charge of it, it will take charge of us. True transformation, he insists, isn’t about waiting for the world to change—it’s about learning how to manage ourselves despite the world’s constant pressure.

The Core Idea: Choice Amid Triggers

A “trigger,” in Goldsmith’s definition, is any stimulus that reshapes our thoughts and actions. It can be as dramatic as a personal crisis or as simple as a colleague’s tone of voice. What matters is not the event itself, but how we respond to it. He shows that between the moment a trigger fires and our reaction, there’s a narrow window in which we retain choice. Those who learn to widen this window—by slowing down and practicing awareness—are the ones capable of lasting change.

Through stories and research, Goldsmith demonstrates how our environment constantly tests us. Successful change doesn’t come from understanding what to do (we all know what we should do) but from actually doing it when it matters most. Understanding how triggers work, he argues, helps us reclaim control of our behavior at precisely those moments when we’d otherwise revert to habit.

Why Change Is So Hard

Goldsmith opens the book with a blunt truth: adult behavioral change is incredibly difficult. Even successful people, those with discipline and intelligence, resist change because (1) they underestimate the power of the environment, (2) they overrate their willpower, and (3) they cling to comforting belief triggers such as “I’m fine the way I am” or “I’ll get to it later.” The result? Plans stay on paper.

He recalls Harry, a capable executive whose arrogance and refusal to change cost him his career, and contrasts him with those who admitted their flaws and sought help. Goldsmith’s “no improvement, no pay” coaching model keeps the focus on measurable change as judged by others—not by self-perception. This distinction—how others experience your behavior—is central to Goldsmith’s philosophy. You may believe you’ve changed; the world decides if you actually have.

The Environment as Enemy and Ally

Goldsmith personifies the environment as a mischievous force that constantly “triggers” us into unhelpful behavior. We imagine we control it, but in truth, it shapes our habits, moods, and attention. From the aggressive driver on your way to work to the slow colleague in a meeting, these environmental cues push us to respond automatically—unless we intervene. The key, Goldsmith says, is awareness: recognizing these triggers before they hijack you.

He divides triggers into types: direct vs. indirect, internal vs. external, conscious vs. unconscious, anticipated vs. unexpected, encouraging vs. discouraging, and productive vs. counterproductive. This taxonomy helps us distinguish the stimuli we can harness versus those we should avoid altogether. Goldsmith’s matrix—a grid balancing what we want vs. what we need—reveals that success lies on the side of productive triggers, even when they feel discouraging in the short term (like tough feedback or rules).

Trying, Awareness, and Effort

Beneath Goldsmith’s pragmatic coaching tools lies an ethical vision: becoming who you want to be requires constant effort and humility. When he reframed his nightly self-evaluation questions from “How happy was I today?” to “Did I do my best to be happy today?”, his world changed. The difference between passive evaluation and active questioning, he explains, is ownership. You can’t control outcomes, but you can control effort. The simple phrase “Did I do my best to…” becomes a life philosophy, prompting responsibility and daily awareness.

Goldsmith’s research with his daughter, behavioral scientist Kelly Goldsmith, confirmed this insight: employees who answered active questions doubled their engagement compared to those answering passive ones. Trying—consciously, daily—is the missing ingredient in most change efforts.

What You’ll Learn

Across the book’s four parts—“Why We Don’t Change,” “Try,” “More Structure, Please,” and “No Regrets”—Goldsmith builds a system for making personal growth stick. You’ll learn how to:

• Master belief triggers that sabotage progress (“I have willpower,” “I don’t need help”).
• Recognize and forecast environmental cues before they derail behavior.
• Bridge the gap between your “planner” and “doer” selves.
• Use active questions and daily structures to sustain growth.
• Protect yourself against depletion—mental fatigue that leads to bad decisions.
• Apply the “AIWATT” rule—asking if you’re willing, at this time, to make a positive difference.

The book culminates with a challenge: to live with awareness, engagement, and no regrets. Whether you’re CEO of Ford or a parent learning patience, the same rules apply. The difference between growth and stagnation, Goldsmith insists, is consistent effort and mindful structure. Change, he reminds us, isn’t about perfection—it’s about persistence.

Goldsmith defines a trigger as any stimulus that reshapes our thoughts and actions—often instantly and unconsciously. It could be an environment, person, emotion, or unexpected event. Triggers are neutral in themselves; what matters is our response. Learning to manage them, Goldsmith argues, is the cornerstone of behavioral mastery.

Types of Triggers

Triggers can be direct (someone insults you) or indirect (a memory of being insulted). They can be internal (anxiety before a meeting) or external (hearing a colleague’s tone). Goldsmith also notes how unconscious and unexpected triggers shape us. For example, research shows that people rate their “happiness” lower on cloudy days even while denying the weather has any effect—a perfect case of an unconscious environmental trigger.

He also distinguishes between encouraging triggers (which reinforce good behavior) and discouraging triggers (which tempt us to regress). Both can be productive or counterproductive depending on how we react. A rule, for example, can feel discouraging but actually keep us on track.

Managing the Gap Between Trigger and Behavior

Drawing inspiration from Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit, Goldsmith inserts an extra step between cue and behavior: awareness and choice. Instead of automatic response, he urges us to “slow down time” and recognize that split second when we can choose our reaction. In anecdotes ranging from a Today Show interview he once gave to executives losing their temper in meetings, Goldsmith shows how mindfulness turns automatic reflexes into deliberate choices.

He concludes that changing our reaction—not the trigger—is true freedom. As he puts it, “We cannot control the random stimulus, but we can choose the meaning we attach to it.”

Before we can change, we must dismantle the false beliefs that prevent action. Goldsmith calls these belief triggers: comforting assumptions we hold about ourselves that guarantee inertia. They sound harmless—“I’ll start tomorrow”—but together they form a psychological immune system that deflects responsibility.

Fifteen Belief Triggers

Goldsmith identifies fifteen, including: “If I understand, I will do,” “I have willpower and won’t give in to temptation,” and “If I change, I am inauthentic.” Each belief sabotages change before it starts. For instance, successful people often cling to “I have the wisdom to assess my own behavior,” overrating their self-awareness. Studies show nearly 80% of professionals think they’re in the top 20%! Overconfidence, ego, and self-deception are enemies of growth.

Goldsmith reminds readers that we cannot rely on insight or understanding alone. “Understanding is not doing,” he writes. The real test is consistency—showing up again and again despite temptation.

In short, belief triggers provide the mind’s excuse engine. To break their grip, Goldsmith prescribes humility: measure your behavior objectively, seek feedback, and accept that “simple is not easy.” Recognizing our self-imposed myths is the first step toward authentic change.

Every day, says Goldsmith, we wake up as brilliant “planners” and go to sleep as lazy “doers.” In the morning we make lists, vow to exercise, promise to stay calm; by afternoon, fatigue and interruptions have rewritten our story. The discrepancy between our plans and our actions explains most failed self-improvement efforts.

The Inner Leadership Battle

Borrowing from Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard’s “Situational Leadership,” Goldsmith notes that effective leaders vary their management styles based on their followers’ readiness. We must do the same internally: our “planner” must manage our “doer.” When motivation is high and tasks are simple, delegation works fine. But when triggers threaten our self-control—like in stressful meetings or under pressure—we need more structure and reminders.

His client Rennie carried an index card reading, “Don’t confuse your staff,” to control his impulsive habit of assigning tasks redundantly in meetings. Like a good leader coaching a subordinate, Rennie’s planner learned to manage his own doer with prompts and foresight.

Goldsmith’s point is humbling: discipline isn’t innate. You must treat yourself like an employee who needs guidance. The planner in you must anticipate your own weakness and create systems of accountability.

Goldsmith calls asking “active questions” one of his most powerful tools—a “magic move” that transforms passive awareness into active accountability. These questions don’t ask if things happened to you; they ask if you did your best to make them happen.

For example, “Did I do my best to be happy today?” is radically different from “Was I happy today?” The first implies agency, not luck. It forces you to own your effort. Research with his daughter Kelly Goldsmith revealed that employees who answered active follow-up questions after training improved engagement twice as much as those who answered passive ones.

Goldsmith now uses 22 daily “Did I do my best…” questions covering happiness, health, meaning, and family. His two-minute nightly ritual is brutally honest because there’s nowhere to hide. Either you tried or you didn’t. As he notes, “We may not reach our goals, but there is no excuse for not trying.”

The method blends psychology with moral clarity. Trying creates awareness; awareness sparks change. Over time, the habit of self-questioning becomes an internal compass, steering behavior even without external accountability.

Goldsmith’s clients at Ford and Boeing show that the secret to consistent performance isn’t willpower—it’s structure. Alan Mulally’s legendary Business Plan Review at Ford required every leader, every Thursday, to present results using a rigid format: name, plan, color-coded status. The structure limited distraction, created transparency, and reduced ego-driven behavior.

Goldsmith concludes that willpower is wildly overrated. Like muscles, it drains through the day—a phenomenon psychologist Roy Baumeister calls “ego depletion.” Structure, however, protects us from this depletion. Routine makes good behavior automatic. The flighty mind doesn’t have to choose; it just follows the process.

To live better, says Goldsmith, you need your own BPR: simple structures—like scheduled check-ins, daily questions, or pre-commitments—that make desired behavior easier to repeat. “We do not get better without structure,” he insists. Without it, you rely on fading enthusiasm; with it, improvement becomes inevitable.

Goldsmith offers a mantra for mindfulness in conflict: “Am I willing, at this time, to make the investment required to make a positive difference on this topic?”—abbreviated AIWATT. It’s a pause button between stimulus and reaction, a blend of Buddhist detachment and Peter Drucker’s pragmatism (“Our mission is to make a positive difference, not to prove how smart we are”).

The technique builds emotional intelligence by redirecting your pride and irritation. When triggered by bad drivers, rude colleagues, or family criticism, AIWATT helps you ask: Is this worth my energy? Usually not. The point isn’t inaction—it’s selective action, conserving emotional energy for meaningful change.

Goldsmith pairs AIWATT with the “Empty Boat” parable from Buddhism: when a boat bumps into you and it’s empty, you don’t get angry, because no one steered it. Likewise, most people’s behavior isn’t about you—they’re just empty boats drifting through life. Recognize that, he says, and peace follows.

To simplify growth, Goldsmith introduces the “Wheel of Change,” a four-quadrant map for self-assessment. It distinguishes actions we must create, preserve, eliminate, or accept to become who we want to be.

• Creating: Inventing new behaviors or identities. Example: a retiring CEO learning to “create” a new role for himself after leaving power.
• Preserving: Holding on to what already works, like Frances Hesselbein preserving Girl Scouts’ values while modernizing its mission.
• Eliminating: Shedding what no longer serves you—Goldsmith’s own decision to stop selling his time as a lecturer and focus on writing.
• Accepting: Making peace with what you cannot change—colleagues, decisions, or limitations.

Most people overvalue creating and undervalue eliminating and accepting, says Goldsmith. But transformation often comes from subtraction and serenity, not constant addition. The wheel becomes a compass for intentional living—forcing you to ask: What do I need to start, stop, keep, and surrender?

In one of the book’s most moving conclusions, Goldsmith tells the story of Nadeem, an executive whose rivalry with a colleague named Simon poisoned their teamwork. Through apologies, accountability, and daily questions (“Did I do my best to reach out to Simon?”), Nadeem not only repaired the relationship but transformed the entire office culture. His insight: “If I change my behavior, I change the people around me.”

This is Goldsmith’s final challenge: don’t just react to triggers—become one. When you model positive behavior, you trigger improvement in others. The cycle reverses: instead of your environment dictating who you are, your example starts shaping the environment.

As Goldsmith writes, “When we dive all the way in—100 percent focus and energy—we become irresistible forces of change.” You stop being a victim of your surroundings and start redesigning them. In that moment, you’ve achieved what the book promises: lasting, authentic behavioral transformation.