The Power Paradox

Why is it that good people rise to positions of influence—and then lose everything because of the very power they gain? This haunting question drives Dacher Keltner’s The Power Paradox, a groundbreaking exploration of how our best qualities—empathy, generosity, and fairness—grant us power, yet those same impulses often collapse once we have it. Keltner, a social psychologist at UC Berkeley, spent over two decades studying what he calls the paradox at the heart of human influence: we rise to power by enhancing the lives of others, but power itself can strip away the very skills and virtues that allowed us to earn it.

At its core, The Power Paradox argues that power is not about force or dominance—as Machiavelli taught in The Prince—but about the capacity to make a difference in the world, especially by uplifting others. Power, Keltner contends, is woven into our everyday interactions: from calming a colleague, nurturing a child, or inspiring cooperation, to how we treat those below or above us. Yet, he warns, once we feel powerful, our biology and psychology shift. Empathy fades. Gratitude wanes. Self-restraint weakens. The same power that energized us to lead can just as quickly blind us to others and set us on a path toward ethical and emotional decay.

A New Definition of Power

Keltner redefines power not as dominance or control but as influence devoted to the greater good. It’s about altering the states of others—emotionally, intellectually, or materially—in ways that help them flourish. This definition challenges the centuries-old Machiavellian mindset that views power as manipulation, coercion, or fear. He reminds us that lasting social progress—from the abolition of slavery to civil rights to gender equality—was fueled not by tyrants but by empathetic, inclusive, and moral leadership. Power exists not just in boardrooms or parliaments, but in every conversation and gesture that connects human beings.

The Pathway to Power

Through experiments in college dorms, workplaces, and even primate colonies, Keltner shows that we gain influence when we promote the greater good—when we’re enthusiastic, kind, focused, calm, and open. Groups grant power to those they trust and admire, and they punish those who abuse it through gossip, shame, and loss of reputation. Power, he insists, is not grabbed but given by others. It is a moral relationship, built on reputation, empathy, and service. Whether in a family or a company, your power depends not on position but on how others perceive your contributions to the whole.

When Power Corrupts

Yet, human psychology conspires against this benevolent model. Once people feel powerful—whether because of wealth, status, or control—their focus shifts inward. Studies show they interrupt others more, take more food for themselves, lie more often, and grow less empathetic. This “dopamine high” of dominance intoxicates the mind, reinforcing impulsivity and disconnection from others. Lord Acton’s adage that “power corrupts” gains chilling empirical support in Keltner’s research: power actually diminishes moral sentiment. Empathy, gratitude, and respect fade as entitlement and exceptionalism grow.

Powerlessness and the Costs of Inequality

The paradox doesn’t stop with those who hold power. On the other end lies the devastating cost of powerlessness. Those deprived of social, economic, or political influence endure more threat, chronic stress, and illness. Poverty “gets under the skin,” Keltner writes, triggering biological stress responses that erode physical and mental health. Inequality and social exclusion don’t just diminish opportunity—they shorten lives. Powerlessness, he argues, is the greatest public health crisis of modern society.

Transcending the Paradox

Despite these dangers, Keltner offers hope through everyday moral practice. Enduring power comes from four qualities: empathy, generosity, gratitude, and storytelling. Leaders who embody these—like Abraham Lincoln, whose genius lay in understanding others’ minds—wield influence that lasts. Keltner calls for a culture that redistributes power through humility, respect, and practical acts of empowerment. In his epilogue’s “Fivefold Path to Power,” he distills his wisdom into actionable steps: awareness of our own power, humility, generosity, respect, and uplifting the powerless. This isn’t utopian idealism—it’s evolutionary common sense. Our species flourishes when influence serves compassion.

In the end, The Power Paradox is both warning and manual: a call to redefine what it means to lead and to have influence. You, Keltner argues, experience power every day—in your relationships, choices, and voice. The question isn’t whether you’ll have power, but how you’ll use it. Will it magnify your better angels or unleash your worst instincts? That is the paradox we must all learn to outsmart—if we hope to build communities and societies that endure.

Most people imagine power as dominance—armies marching, boardroom showdowns, or the swagger of political strongmen. But Dacher Keltner dismantles this image. Power, he insists, is not about coercion; it’s about making a difference in the world by affecting the state of others. Every time you motivate a child to eat vegetables, calm a worried colleague, or spark creativity in a meeting, you’re exercising power. It’s an omnipresent force in human life—one that’s far more democratic and relational than we think.

Redefining Power Beyond Machiavelli

Machiavelli’s 16th-century worldview shaped centuries of leadership thought. To him, power was “force and fraud”—a realm of ruthless opportunism. In contrast, Keltner’s definition echoes Bertrand Russell’s statement that “power is to the social sciences what energy is to physics.” It’s the measure of human influence. He points out that seismic social changes—the fall of apartheid, the civil rights movement, or the Arab Spring—were achieved not by coercion but by collective moral influence. Studies show that nonviolent resistance is twice as likely to succeed as armed conflict. Compassion, not brutality, is the true engine of transformation.

Power as a Daily Practice

Power, Keltner demonstrates, exists in every human interaction. It’s between parents and children, lovers, coworkers, and even a fetus and mother competing for nutrients. Influence emerges moment by moment—who speaks first, who listens, who leads an idea forward. He invokes social psychology’s classic “leaderless group” experiments: groups of strangers naturally pick out influencers within minutes based on empathy, engagement, and clarity, not aggression. You don’t need a title to be powerful; you need awareness of others and a willingness to contribute to shared goals.

Power Emerges Through Connection

Power lives within social networks. Like Charles Darwin, who exchanged over 1,500 letters to build his ideas collaboratively, Keltner shows that modern influence flows through relationships and cooperation. Philosopher Hannah Arendt captured this truth when she wrote that “power corresponds to the human ability to act in concert.” Power doesn’t belong to individuals—it rests in groups acting together. The more you empower others, the more your influence grows. Influence spreads contagiously through networks; generosity and empathy ripple outward like energy.

The Feel-Good Trap of Power

But here’s the risk: the feeling of power is intoxicating. Neurochemically, it’s a dopamine-fueled surge of confidence, optimism, and purpose. When you’re ‘on top,’ your brain and body light up as though high on euphoria. Yet this rush can lead you astray—causing impulsivity, ethical blindness, and even manic self-delusion. Keltner calls this “the moment of choice” in the power paradox: when that pleasant sense of influence tempts you to forget the empathy and collaboration that gave you power in the first place.

In defining power as our capacity to enhance others’ lives, Keltner turns the old model upside down. You already have power—but sustaining it means continually using it in the service of others. Lose sight of that, and power will turn against you.

Is power seized by the cunning and ruthless—or granted by those who trust us? To explore this, Keltner draws on William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, contrasting the violent Jack with the collaborative Ralph. While culture often glorifies power grabs, Keltner’s research reveals the opposite: power is conferred by groups upon individuals who serve the greater good. It’s a social contract built on reputation, reciprocity, and trust rather than domination.

The Greater Good Principle

Building on utilitarian philosophers like Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill, Keltner argues that humans naturally evaluate leaders by one criterion: do they advance collective welfare and minimize harm? He tested this idea through “natural state” experiments in college dorms and workplaces. Groups consistently give influence to those who exhibit enthusiasm, kindness, focus, calmness, and openness—the so-called Big Five social virtues. The ‘nice guys’ don’t finish last; they finish leading. Similar patterns are seen in hunter-gatherer tribes, where leaders are chosen for bravery, generosity, fairness, and humility—not coercion.

Reputation and Gossip: The Hidden Checks on Power

Our reputations serve as society’s moral ledger. Much like the scarlet letter branding Hester Prynne in Hawthorne’s novel, public perception determines our power. Groups construct reputations through communication and especially gossip—which, far from being trivial, is an evolutionary mechanism for accountability. In his sorority studies, Keltner found gossip targeted those who were selfish or Machiavellian, protecting the group’s cohesion. Gossip, shaming, and status rewards together form an invisible system that punishes exploitation and elevates cooperation.

Status and Esteem as Social Currency

Reputation feeds into another subtle force: esteem. Anthropological evidence from the Netsilik Inuit and New Guinean tribes shows that power is distributed through generosity—those who share food, give help, or bestow resources earn revered status. Modern neuroscience echoes this: receiving praise activates the same dopamine circuits as pleasure and reward. Social esteem motivates moral behavior as powerfully as money or desire. As William James observed, “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

The Gift of Power

Ultimately, Keltner reframes leadership as a gift continually given by others. Groups grant power to those who improve collective life and withdraw it from those who exploit it. Gossip, reputation, status signals, and esteem keep power aligned with morality. As he puts it, “Power is not grabbed, it is given.” Understanding this gift-like dynamic changes how you approach leadership: your greatest strength lies not in asserting control, but in cultivating trust and goodwill.

If grabbing power leads to fleeting success, what makes power last? Keltner’s research reveals that enduring power depends on four timeless practices: empathy, giving, gratitude, and storytelling. These behaviors—rooted in human evolution—maintain influence by fostering connection, cooperation, and trust. Lose focus on others, and your power corrodes; nurture it, and your impact multiplies.

Empathy: Feeling What Others Feel

Empathy allows you to anticipate others’ needs and emotions. Abraham Lincoln embodied this power of perspective—he “saw all who went there and talked freely with everybody,” as political strategist Thurlow Weed recounted. Empathetic individuals strengthen relationships by reading subtle emotional cues—facial expressions, tone, gestures. Keltner’s tests show that high-empathy people outperform others in teamwork, negotiation, and leadership. The science is clear: empathy builds trust, and trust sustains influence.

Giving: Power Through Generosity

From primates grooming one another to basketball players exchanging high-fives, generosity strengthens cooperation. Keltner’s famous NBA study found that teams who touched more early in the season—fist bumps, pats, hugs—played better and won more. Each encouraging touch built a web of trust. Similarly, in everyday life, generosity of time, attention, and opportunity makes others feel valued. In giving, you amplify others’ power—and your own.

Gratitude: The Most Sacred Virtue

Echoing Adam Smith’s The Theory of Moral Sentiments, Keltner calls gratitude “the most sacred of virtues.” Expressed gratitude acknowledges others’ dignity and feeds a cycle of cooperation. Studies show that expressing thanks increases trust and willingness to help—even among strangers. In romantic couples, gratitude predicts long-term stability. At work, it improves performance and morale. When you thank someone, you reinforce their esteem and your shared power.

Storytelling: The Art That Unites

Humans are a storytelling species, and great leaders are master storytellers. Lincoln’s homespun tales unified a fractured nation; fraternity “teasing sessions” in Keltner’s experiments used humor and story to defuse tension and strengthen bonds. Storytelling offers meaning, laughter, and coherence amid conflict. When you tell stories that connect people to shared values, you transform communication into influence.

Keltner’s message is simple but profound: lasting power isn’t about commanding—it’s about connecting. The more you dignify others through empathy, generosity, gratitude, and story, the more enduring your influence becomes.

Once we feel powerful, the danger begins. As Lord Acton famously warned, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Keltner’s research scientifically validates this maxim: power intoxicates the brain, amplifies selfish impulses, and blunts empathy. The same instincts that gave us influence—understanding, respect, generosity—are the first casualties of success.

Empathy Deficits and Moral Decay

Power shifts attention inward. Studies show powerful people become worse at reading emotions, less likely to mimic others, and less capable of seeing things from another’s perspective. In one experiment, participants prompted to feel powerful misread emotional states in facial photos and even drew self-centered figures when asked to write an “E” on their foreheads for others to see. Wealth and status also numb our neurological empathy circuits. The result: diminished compassion, gratitude, and moral sentiment—what Keltner calls “acquired sociopathy.”

Self-Serving Impulsivity

The powerful act on impulse. In one study, participants assigned leadership roles ate more cookies—and more sloppily—than others. Wealthier drivers were four times likelier to cut off others at intersections and nearly half ignored pedestrians at crosswalks. In workplaces, those with power cheat more on expenses and taxes. Privilege, Keltner warns, functions like brain damage: it lowers inhibition and heightens craving. Wealth doesn’t make people immoral; it makes them feel entitled.

Incivility and Disrespect

Contrary to the myth of refined elites, power breeds rudeness. Experiments show the powerful interrupt more, swear more, and express contempt more freely. Surveys reveal that managers are three times as likely to spread incivility at work. These micro-abuses erode trust and cooperation, undermining organizations and families alike. Civility may seem small, but it is power’s moral glue.

Narratives of Exceptionalism

When power breeds guilt, people rationalize. The wealthy and powerful justify inequality by claiming they’re uniquely talented or biologically superior. Keltner calls these self-serving myths “narratives of exceptionalism.” From social Darwinism to modern CEO culture, these stories defend privilege and deny injustice. They distort moral vision, shifting blame from systems to individuals. The cure, he suggests, is humility—recognizing that power is relational, not divine.

Power doesn’t inevitably corrupt, but without self-awareness and accountability, it pushes us toward moral blindness. To stay human amid influence, we must anchor ourselves in empathy, respect, and the reality that every act of power affects another’s life.

If abuse of power destroys empathy, what happens when power is taken away entirely? Keltner turns the lens toward the powerless—those living under poverty, discrimination, or subjugation—and finds that inequality literally damages the body and mind. Powerlessness, he argues, is the hidden epidemic behind society’s worst struggles: illness, depression, anxiety, and shortened lifespans.

Growing Up in Powerlessness

Drawing on his childhood in a poor California town, Keltner recounts neighbors who battled unemployment, illness, obesity, and early death. They were generous and warm—but chronically stressed. Later, science would confirm what he witnessed: powerlessness activates the body’s threat systems 24/7. Constant vigilance, he writes, “gnaws at the nervous system.” Cortisol, the stress hormone, floods the body; immune function collapses. Powerlessness is not just emotional—it’s biological.

The Biology of Social Threat

Poor and marginalized individuals live amid higher noise, pollution, racism, and surveillance. Every insult or police encounter reinforces a sense of danger. This perpetual threat activates the brain’s HPA axis and immune cytokine system, producing inflammation and disease. Studies show that simply assuming a collapsed, submissive posture can trigger cortisol spikes—our bodies know when we feel powerless.

Cognitive and Emotional Costs

Chronic stress disrupts concentration, creativity, and learning. Poor children’s brains show stunted development in regions tied to language and planning—up to 5 percent smaller by age eleven. Poverty doubles the risk of depression and anxiety. The myth that the poor live carefree lives of ease is false: their physiology is locked in defensive alert, suppressing joy and imagination. Powerlessness diminishes the ability to contribute, not desire or talent.

Healing Powerlessness

Keltner offers hope: small interventions—green spaces in neighborhoods, mindfulness programs in schools, simple acts of dignity—can mitigate the damage. Empowerment heals. When societies reduce inequality and expand voice, everyone thrives. “Being aware of the prices of powerlessness,” he concludes, “is the most powerful antidote to the power paradox.”

Ultimately, the powerless teach the powerful the deepest lesson of all: real strength lies in empathy, not dominance. Their resilience and generosity remind us of what true power looks like.

Keltner closes his book not with despair but with a moral roadmap—a Fivefold Path to use power wisely and sustain it. If the power paradox is inevitable, it can still be outsmarted through awareness and practice. His psychology lab meets ancient ethics in these five principles, which any person—leader, parent, teacher, citizen—can live by.

1. Be Aware of Your Feelings of Power

Power is not a fixed possession but a lived experience. By paying attention to when you feel influential, purposeful, or connected, you can identify where your true sources of impact lie. Awareness transforms power from ego to purpose. It reminds you that power isn’t money or fame—it’s your ability to uplift others.

2. Practice Humility

Power is a gift, not an entitlement. The most enduringly powerful people—teachers, doctors, social workers, even prisoners leading reconciliation circles—recognize they are merely stewards of influence. Humility keeps power empathic and ethical. It invites accountability and growth instead of arrogance and isolation.

3. Stay Focused on Others and Give

Generous power amplifies communities. By sharing time, respect, and opportunities, you create empowerment loops. Mutual empowerment leads to collective thriving—from families that trust each other to workplaces that innovate. Giving, paradoxically, multiplies your influence.

4. Practice Respect

Every act of respect dignifies others and stabilizes social hierarchies. Compliments, listening, curiosity, and gratitude re-humanize relationships fractured by status. Respect is an evolved mechanism that keeps societies cooperative and fair. When you respect others, you strengthen your own moral authority.

5. Change the Context of Powerlessness

Finally, true power transforms systems. Keltner challenges readers to use their influence to reduce inequality—whether through mentoring, advocacy, or institutional change. Fighting racism, sexism, and marginalization isn’t charity; it’s leadership. Empowering the powerless counters the biological and moral costs of hierarchy.

For Keltner, informed by both science and compassion, these steps amount to a quiet revolution: a culture of mutual empowerment. Power is here to stay—but whether it builds or destroys depends on how consciously we wield it.