Surprise

When was the last time you were truly caught off guard—and felt alive because of it? In Surprise: Embrace the Unpredictable, Engineer the Unexpected, psychologists and entrepreneurs Tania Luna and LeeAnn Renninger show how surprise isn’t just a fleeting emotion—it’s the engine of growth, creativity, and connection. They argue that life’s richness depends on how we relate to unpredictability: whether we hide from it or use it to engage more deeply with our work, relationships, and sense of purpose.

Luna and Renninger contend that humans are wired for surprise. Deep in the brain, surprise triggers a four-step pattern they call the Surprise Sequence: Freeze, Find, Shift, and Share. You stop what you’re doing, focus intensely, adjust your understanding, and ultimately share what happened with others. Understanding that sequence lets you harness surprise intentionally—turning what often feels like chaos into a powerful tool for learning and creativity.

Why Surprise Matters

We live in what the authors call a ‘Surprise Seesaw’ world—too much predictability breeds boredom, while too much unpredictability creates anxiety. Luna and Renninger propose that thriving in modern life depends on finding balance between the two. They draw vivid examples from neuroscience, business, and everyday relationships to show that surprise is both inevitable and essential. Whether a company faces market turbulence or a couple feels stuck in routine, the capacity to embrace surprise distinguishes those who adapt and flourish from those who struggle to cope.

The Science and Art of Surprise

Surprise activates the ancient survival circuitry that once helped our ancestors dodge saber-toothed predators. Today, that same system helps us learn, innovate, and connect emotionally. Luna and Renninger combine research from psychology, behavioral economics, and neuroscience with stories from their own lives as ‘Surprisologists.’ Tania, who once resisted any form of unpredictability—preferring detailed spreadsheets of plans—found her world transformed after founding Surprise Industries, a company that takes clients on mystery adventures. LeeAnn, by contrast, spent her career studying surprise in scientific laboratories and learned firsthand how bursts of unpredictability awaken curiosity and joy. Together, they distill their experiences into practical tools for embracing and engineering surprise.

What Readers Learn

The book unfolds in four parts: Understanding Surprise, Embracing the Unpredictable, Engineering the Unexpected, and Practicing Everyday Surprise. Readers begin by exploring what happens in the brain and how surprise functions biologically. Then they learn to build resilience and reframe vulnerability—developing the courage to face uncertainty rather than avoid it. Next comes the creative side: learning to wield surprise in work and design, from brainstorming ideas to capturing attention and designing delight. Finally, Luna and Renninger show how to embed surprise into daily living and relationships so that every day feels more vibrant, not just the ones marked by big milestones.

Why It’s Relevant to You

This book challenges a cultural obsession with control and predictability. We crave stability, but as Luna reminds us, ‘We feel most comfortable when things are certain, but we feel most alive when they’re not.’ Surprise helps you break through apathy, spark creativity, and strengthen relationships. From a neurological perspective, surprise resets attention and floods the brain with dopamine—the neurotransmitter of motivation and reward. Emotionally, it intensifies experience, making joy more joyous and insight more transformative.

A New Way to Live and Work

Ultimately, Luna and Renninger invite you to become a Surprisologist yourself: someone who doesn’t just endure surprise but uses it deliberately to engage the mind and heart. They offer methods for reframing mistakes, inviting vulnerability, experimenting with uncertainty, and designing unexpected moments of delight. Their message echoes that of thinkers like Daniel Kahneman on unpredictability and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi on the psychology of flow—true fulfillment arises not from control but from curiosity and openness. By learning to embrace surprise, you transform the unpredictable into opportunity and turn ordinary days into extraordinary experiences.

When something unexpected happens—a friend shows up unannounced, a project takes an unforeseen turn—your brain performs an intricate dance. Luna and Renninger call this the Surprise Sequence, a four-part reaction that explains how we interpret the unknown: Freeze, Find, Shift, and Share. Recognizing this process helps you understand your reactions and turn moments of uncertainty into meaningful growth.

Freeze: Stopping to Pay Attention

The instant you’re surprised, a burst of neural activity called the P300 fires, halting everything else you’re doing. Your mind drops its multitasking and focuses solely on the unexpected. Luna calls this the ‘Duh Face’ moment—when you look vacant but are actually deeply absorbed. This response evolved to help our ancestors survive saber-toothed surprises, but it now serves creative focus: it snaps us into presence when attention is fractured.

Find: Curiosity Takes Over

Once attention locks in, your brain races to make sense of what happened. It asks questions—Why did that occur? What does this mean?—often so fast you barely notice. This phase fuels curiosity. Luna and Renninger note that curiosity is one of the most powerful motivators for learning and problem-solving (Todd Kashdan’s research supports this, showing that curiosity may be more essential to well-being than happiness itself). When the brain doesn’t find closure, the surprise lingers; an unanswered mystery keeps you thinking and engaged.

Shift: Updating Your Understanding

When the explanation arrives—or when new information challenges old beliefs—your mental framework, or schema, changes. This ‘Shift Phase’ is how learning happens. Psychologist Jean Piaget described children’s ability to adjust their schemas constantly; as adults, we resist change, protecting our established views through confirmation bias. The authors explain why embracing surprises fosters flexibility: every new piece of evidence widens perspective and makes our thinking more adaptive.

Share: Connecting Through Surprise

After the mental shift, your body feels a surge of energy—you want to tell someone. Sharing helps relieve the ‘cognitive burden’ that surprise creates. It’s why we tell stories about shocking news or delightful discoveries: communication diffuses the mental tension and strengthens social bonds. Experiments show that keeping intense experiences secret feels physically heavy; talking about them literally lightens your load.

Understanding this flow—from the moment you freeze to when you share—reveals how surprise fuels learning, empathy, and innovation. It explains why unexpected events stick in memory and why our greatest transformations often begin with the words, “I didn’t see that coming.”

Most of us treat surprise as a threat—something to control, mitigate, or prevent. Luna and Renninger urge the opposite: treat unpredictability as training for resilience. In a world where rapid change is constant, developing responsiveness to uncertainty is no longer optional; it’s survival skill and creative superpower.

Build Resilience: Bouncing Forward

Resilience isn’t just “bouncing back” from bad surprises; it’s using adversity as a springboard for growth. The story of dancer Natalia Paruz—a rising star who lost her career after a taxi accident only to become a world-renowned musical saw player—illustrates transformation through shock. Luna and Renninger define four tools for resilience: setting stable ground (through supportive relationships and routines), reframing adversity into perspective, making “struggle sandwiches” (alternating success and challenge), and pivoting toward new possibilities. Each tool transforms chaos into capacity.

Reframe Vulnerability: From Weakness to Openness

To embrace surprise fully, you must reframe vulnerability. Instead of equating it with weakness or risk, see it as openness—the willingness to be seen and affected. At TED, artist Raghava KK turned vulnerability into power by sharing personal stories that connected deeply with his audience. Luna and Renninger offer simple exercises—owning mistakes, revealing a little more than feels safe (“next notching”), and asking for help—to make vulnerability a strength. This reframing mirrors Brené Brown’s work on courage and shame: when you open up, people trust and respond.

Practice Skillful Not-Knowing

The authors introduce a concept called “skillful not-knowing,” drawn from Zen philosophy and experimental psychology. Rather than avoiding ambiguity or forcing premature certainty, embrace what they call the Middle Way—balance between avoidance and overanalysis. Tools like calling decisions “experiments,” scenario planning multiple futures, and improvising—just as comedians do—help cultivate flexibility. You learn to navigate uncertainty with creativity instead of fear. (Paul Saffo’s idea of “strong opinions, weakly held” echoes this adaptive stance.)

Embracing the unpredictable means cultivating mental and emotional elasticity. Life will always surprise you—but with resilience, vulnerability, and skillful not-knowing, those surprises become invitations to grow rather than reasons to retreat.

Once you learn to embrace surprise, the next step is to create it intentionally. Luna and Renninger teach that surprise can be engineered into experiences, workplaces, and daily interactions to spark innovation and joy. Creativity thrives not in certainty, but in playful engagement with the unknown.

Get Creative: Turning Curiosity into Invention

Creativity begins with curiosity—the courage to ask new questions. The authors describe Quirky, a company crowdsourcing inventions from everyday tinkerers, and show how “getting to curious” unlocks hidden potential. Tools include playing the ‘Twenty Questions’ game, living in the fog of uncertainty before answers appear, practicing idea mixology (combining unlikely elements like kingfisher birds inspiring train design), and iterating frequently to turn big surprises into a series of small ones. Creativity isn’t a lightning bolt—it’s a pattern of intentional surprise, refinement, and growth.

Wield Attention: Surprise as Focus

In the ‘attention economy,’ getting and keeping people’s focus is its own art form. Surprise interrupts patterns, triggers curiosity through knowledge gaps, and keeps engagement alive with predictable unpredictability. From the dancing traffic cop Mentoria Hutchinson to educators transforming dull lectures with unexpected twists, Luna and Renninger reveal how strategic surprise transforms passivity into participation. The key lies not in gimmicks but in authenticity and rhythm—interweaving anticipation and mystery so attention feels rewarded, not manipulated.

Design Delight: Making Surprise Joyful

Positive surprise—delight—strengthens relationships and drives action. The authors share examples from luxury retail, hospitality, and technology: under-promising and over-delivering, burying small “cookies” (hidden gifts or jokes), and giving “just because.” Delight releases dopamine and creates loyalty, as shown in TripAdvisor studies of customer satisfaction. To sustain delight, vary your surprises and use random reinforcement—the psychological secret behind lasting pleasure. The goal isn’t manipulation, but reminding people that they matter. Surprise becomes generosity in action.

By engineering the unexpected, you transform ordinary routines into creative experiences. Innovation and engagement emerge not from control, but from the artful use of wonder.

We don’t remember things—we remember experiences. Luna and Renninger emphasize that what turns a moment from ordinary to extraordinary is the amount of surprise it contains. Experiences are unpredictable, personal, and immersive, engaging the senses and imagination in ways that tangible goods never can.

The Red Thread: Creating Meaningful Connection

Every great experience has a theme or ‘red thread,’ a coherent line that ties its elements together and gives participants a sense of meaning. Whether it’s a Japanese tea ceremony guided by ritual or a musical performance with emotional continuity, the red thread connects participants to something deeper. Establishing that framework allows people to explore the unfamiliar without losing orientation.

Activate the Senses and Cocreate

Experiences must engage multiple senses—sight, sound, touch, and smell—to trigger full presence. Luna and Renninger cite Cirque du Soleil, where sensory richness keeps audiences captivated. They also stress cocreation: letting participants help shape the experience. Burning Man, for instance, succeeds because everyone contributes creatively; educators who let students guide lessons inspire deep engagement. Allowing others to cocreate means accepting surprise in the process—a hallmark of authentic experience.

Mapping the Journey

Design experiences with distinct stages: entrance, center, and exit. The entrance builds safety and curiosity; the center unfolds surprises; the exit provides reflection and lingering wonder. Without intentional endings, experiences drift away unanchored. Luna’s own teaching practice, where she ends classes by inviting reflection, shows how closure helps transform fleeting surprise into lasting memory.

Making experiences means turning life into a vivid narrative—using surprise not to shock but to awaken. It’s how you create moments that matter long after they end.

Surprise isn’t only for creative projects—it’s the secret ingredient of strong relationships. Luna and Renninger show that relationships stagnate when they become too predictable, and strengthen when they reintroduce surprise through curiosity, vulnerability, and generosity.

Complexity and Conflict

Healthy relationships maintain complexity—they allow contradictory emotions and perspectives. The authors share research from Columbia University’s Conflict Lab showing that simple narratives (“I’m right, you’re wrong”) destroy dialogue, while keeping multiple truths alive deepens connection. Holding ambiguity lets both sides grow through surprise rather than entrenchment.

Balancing Oneness and Otherness

In long partnerships, predictability breeds comfort but can erode desire. Psychologist Esther Perel calls this the ‘crisis of desire’: too much oneness dulls passion. Luna and Renninger advise balancing shared routines with separate adventures—each partner cultivating individuality to remain a source of mystery. Curiosity, they argue, revives connection as surely as a new conversation or rediscovered detail.

Patterns and Positivity

Surprises can repair relationships too. Gottman’s famous “magic ratio” of five positive experiences to one negative applies universally: delight and appreciation accumulate, while disappointments weigh heavily. The authors suggest tracking relational patterns, interrupting negative habits with unexpected gestures—a kind note, a shift in perspective, or a moment of laughter. Like Rex the dog and his goose friend Geraldine, unexpected companionship can transform behavior and renew warmth.

When you surprise someone thoughtfully, you remind them—and yourself—why your connection matters. Relationships thrive not on certainty but on shared wonder.

In the closing chapters, Luna and Renninger turn inward: to live fully, you must surprise yourself daily. When life grows routine, the spirit dulls; intentional surprise revives attention, curiosity, and joy.

Collect Novelty

Do something you’ve never done before—take an unfamiliar class, read a new book, meet a new person. Novelty activates dopamine and rewires the brain’s perception of possibility. Even small changes, like walking a different route, stimulate creativity and relieve stagnation.

Turn On Wonder and Seek Awe

Wonder means lingering in the question rather than rushing to the answer. It transforms ordinary life into magic, as Leonardo da Vinci observed in everyday walls and clouds. Awe—the grander cousin of wonder—extends that feeling, stretching the ‘now’ and renewing patience. Looking up at the stars or admiring human skill enlarges perspective and humility.

Grow Your Comfort Zone and Practice Gratitude

Stepping outside comfort isn’t recklessness; it’s growth. Whether trying public speaking or admitting fear, each small risk expands what feels safe. Over time, the comfort zone widens and confidence flourishes. Equally crucial is gratitude: resetting the expectation bar to feel wonder in what’s already present. Rituals like journaling or apps such as 1 Second Everyday help you savor life’s small surprises and see progress that might otherwise fade into familiarity.

Thinking like a Surprisologist means continually asking, “What would surprise me today?” When you practice that habit, the extraordinary enters the everyday, and predictability transforms into joy.