Living Beyond “What If”

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “What if I fail?” or “What if it’s too late for me?” You’re not alone. In Living Beyond 'What If?', Dr. Shirley Davis invites readers to step beyond the self-doubt, procrastination, and fear that keep so many from living their fullest lives. She argues that most of us are not limited by our abilities or opportunities, but by internal stories—the anxious 'What if?' questions—that convince us we’re not ready or worthy of chasing our dreams. Davis’s central claim is that change begins where excuses end: the moment we replace fear with faith and hesitation with action.

Drawing from her own dramatic life journey—from near-death experiences, heartbreaks, and job setbacks to international success as a speaker and business leader—Davis builds a framework that helps readers identify self-imposed limitations and systematically dismantle them. The book is structured in two major parts: releasing the limits that hold you back, and realizing the dreams waiting on the other side.

Releasing the Limits

Davis begins with her childhood sense of possibility—when imagination made everything seem achievable—and contrasts it with the adversity of her adult years. Betrayal, financial devastation, and discrimination broke down her confidence until fear and self-doubt became daily companions. Yet, these hardships became the seedbed of transformation. Through this lens, she guides readers to uncover their own mental barriers: procrastination, disempowering self-talk, and ingrained fears. Each is explored not as a moral failing but as a human pattern that can be understood and reversed using psychology, self-awareness, and deliberate action.

She even dives into neuroscience—explaining how the tug-of-war between the brain’s pleasure-seeking limbic system and its rational prefrontal cortex leads to inaction, echoing insights popularized by James Clear in Atomic Habits. By seeing procrastination as a brain bias rather than a character flaw, you can redesign your environment and routines to support your future self rather than sabotage it.

Realizing the Dreams

Once those internal limits are released, Davis shifts focus to what comes after: making dreams tangible. This second half of the book mirrors a life coach’s manual. She introduces tools like life plans—written road maps that align your goals with long-term purpose. She also reframes failure as feedback, seeing it not as the end of the road but as a vital step toward growth (a theme John Maxwell also stresses in Failing Forward).

Realization, Davis insists, depends not only on strategy but also on relationships. Healthy connections are your new currency—relationships that build confidence, mirror your best qualities, and open doors that hard work alone can’t. In a chapter that reads like a modern professional philosophy, she details how mentors, friends, and diverse networks function as a “personal board of advisers,” a concept reminiscent of Sheryl Sandberg’s emphasis on leaning into community for career success.

From 'What If?' to 'Why Not Me?'

Davis’s message is both deeply personal and universal. Having survived trauma—including a bank robbery and financial collapse—she demonstrates that flourishing isn’t a matter of luck but of mindset. Through captivating case studies of women and professionals like Meghana Joshi, who overcame a decade of procrastination to earn her architect’s license, and Adrean Turner, who built her own coaching company after reprogramming her “What if I fail?” fears, Davis shows what transformation looks like when applied in real life.

Each story reinforces her conviction that dreams dormant in the nightstand drawer don’t die; they wait for courage. Her call to action is bold yet compassionate: imagine freely, pursue purposefully, and live intentionally—the future depends less on circumstance than on choice. As Davis often quotes her mentor Les Brown, “You have greatness within you.”

By the end, readers are invited to confront their own “Golden Cage”—that polished comfort zone built on routine and fear—and step beyond it. Living Beyond 'What If?' is part memoir, part roadmap, and part motivational manifesto. It challenges you to face life’s biggest unknowns not with trembling hesitation but with open-handed curiosity, to replace “What if I fail?” with “What if I thrive?” The result isn’t just achieving goals—it’s crafting a life that no longer asks what if.

Dr. Shirley Davis begins by reminding you of something you likely lost along the way: the power of imagination. As a child, you could picture limitless futures—teacher, athlete, lawyer, or star—and those mental movies felt real. Davis argues that imagination isn’t child’s play; it’s a spiritual and cognitive superpower, the first frontier of creation. Every invention, company, or revolution began as a picture in someone’s mind. The tragedy, she says, is that adulthood teaches us to trade imagination for safety.

Childhood Dreams and Adult Disillusionment

In the opening chapters, Davis shares her own journey from a confident, imaginative child to a young adult scarred by heartbreak and setbacks. Whether it was losing her first love, nearly dying in a car accident, or facing financial devastation, each blow chipped away at her creative courage. Her story of being thrown from a car in a highway crash—waking in a hospital with glass still lodged in her skin—isn’t just dramatic; it’s symbolic. Life, she says, will throw you into circumstances that test whether your dreams were ever real or only imaginary.

The effect, as Davis confesses, was paralysis. Her bright 'What if I could?' questions became dark 'What if I fail?' ones. “I was living and surviving,” she writes, “but I wasn’t thriving.” Yet even here, imagination remained the key to survival—it allowed her to see a life beyond pain before it existed.

When Life Happens

Davis uses a series of turning points—her car crash, a bank robbery that left her with a gun to her head, a painful divorce while pregnant—to illustrate how trauma reshapes self-belief. Each experience answered one 'What if' and raised three more. What if I die early? What if I can’t trust again? What if I’m not enough? Over time, these became the internal limits keeping her “stuck on the side of the road of life.”

Through therapy, coaching, and faith, she learned to reinterpret these experiences not as evidence of failure but as catalysts for growth. (This parallels Viktor Frankl’s existential insight in Man’s Search for Meaning: suffering can be endured if it has purpose.) As Davis reframes it, those who survive chaos can use imagination to visualize what freedom feels like long before circumstances confirm it.

Reimagining from Within

Imagination, then, becomes more than wishful thinking—it’s an act of reclamation. Davis encourages readers to revisit the clarity of their childhood fantasies and permit themselves, once again, to dream beyond circumstance. She guides you to write down the life you desire “as if” it already exists, detaching from current fears or finances. This mental exercise isn’t escape—it’s blueprinting. Her clients use it to visualize businesses, degree achievements, and emotional breakthroughs before taking real-world actions. One former athlete client imagined reclaiming her body post-injury; that vision became her training plan.

By the end of this first principle, Davis challenges you to see imagination not as luxury but as necessity. Without it, you can’t build the bridge from limitation to possibility. In her own words: “If you can’t imagine it, you can’t create it.” The choice is whether you’ll keep replaying mental movies of fear or storyboard a new one of freedom.

In one of the book’s most practical chapters, Davis calls procrastination “the number one reason dreams die.” It’s not laziness, she clarifies, but a self-protective delay mechanism rooted in fear and instant gratification. Instead of demonizing procrastinators, she unpacks its psychological and neurological underpinnings, translating modern brain science into actionable strategies.

Why We Delay What Matters

Drawing from James Clear’s theory of “time inconsistency,” Davis explains the tug-of-war between your Present Self (who craves comfort) and your Future Self (who values growth). This conflict explains why you might vow to start your business “next year” while bingeing Netflix tonight. The limbic system pushes you toward immediate pleasure, while the rational prefrontal cortex plans for long-term reward. When the limbic system wins, your dreams lose.

She also introduces the concept of “present bias”—the tendency to settle for smaller rewards now rather than bigger rewards later. As she quips, most Powerball winners opt for the lump sum, trading long-term wealth for immediate gratification. This same bias keeps us clinging to safe jobs instead of pursuing scalable dreams.

From Excuse to Action

To move from being a procrastinator to a producer, Davis outlines techniques rooted in behavioral psychology. She recommends using SMART goals—specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound—and a method called behavioral chaining, which breaks complex goals into smaller, winnable steps. For example, one client overwhelmed by credit card debt started by paying off a single small balance, gaining momentum that cascaded into total financial freedom within a year.

The story of Meghana Joshi, an Indian-born architect, drives this home. For ten years, she postponed taking her licensing exams, deterred by childcare, exhaustion, and fear of failure. Only when she began waking at 4 a.m. daily—a doable two-hour window—did progress accelerate. Six weeks later, she passed and secured her license. Joshi’s turning point came when she asked herself one clarifying question: “How bad do I want this?” Her answer dismantled a decade of paralysis.

Shifting the Inner Narrative

Davis concludes that procrastination is best defeated not by shame but by alignment. Once your daily habits serve your larger “why,” as articulated in a personal purpose statement, friction decreases. You no longer need to fight willpower; you simply act in sync with identity. Echoing Mel Robbins’s “5-Second Rule,” Davis invites you to treat every hesitation as a moment to disrupt your brain’s avoidance loop. Count down—five, four, three—and act before doubt resumes control. Over time, this rewiring builds the muscle memory of momentum.

Everyone has an inner critic whispering, “What if I’m not good enough?” These questions, Davis explains, are not harmless—they script the limits of your life. Her antidote is cognitive reframing: identifying disempowering questions and replacing them with empowering responses.

Identifying the Inner Voice

Davis recounts how her own self-doubt first surfaced during teenage pageants. Standing among taller, wealthier contestants, she was bombarded with internal taunts: What if you trip? What if they laugh at you? Despite these fears, she won a speech competition, proving that confidence often follows, not precedes, action. This early lesson became a metaphor for her later triumphs in corporate America, where she endured racial and gender bias—including being tokenized for diversity optics and watching someone she trained become her boss.

Her candid workplace stories will resonate with anyone who’s felt undervalued despite overperformance. These experiences fed corrosive “What if I’m not enough?” beliefs until she realized the pattern: external rejection mirrored internal speeches she had already given herself.

Flipping the Script

To reverse this mental programming, Davis introduced a practice she calls “flipping the script.” For every disempowering question, write a counter-affirmation. Example: Instead of “What if I fail?” say “Failure is feedback.” Instead of “What if I’m not qualified?” say “I can learn what I don’t yet know.” Over time, this deliberate dialogue reconditions the brain to expect success. (Psychologists might call this cognitive behavioral substitution.)

She pairs this with narratives of real people who used this method to reboot their mindsets. Adrean Turner, a corporate professional turned author, once feared leaving a secure job; her mind replayed “What if I lose everything?” until she countered it with “What if I gain freedom?” That pivot birthed her business and book, Fearless.

Belief as Habit

Davis argues that empowerment is cumulative. Each reframed question shifts identity slightly until your default belief is possibility, not peril. Quoting Gandhi—“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be”—she asserts that faith and self-talk are self-fulfilling scripts. Replace mental arguments with self-investment: learn new skills, network across differences, and measure growth against your past, not others. As she puts it, “The only comparison worth making is between who you were and who you’re becoming.”

Davis’s exploration of fear is equal parts confession and instruction. Citing her mentor Les Brown’s line—“You’re either living your dreams or living your fears”—she encourages you to audit which one currently drives your choices. Fear, she notes, has only two biological roots: falling and loud sounds; all others are learned. The good news? What’s learned can be unlearned.

Fear’s Many Faces

Davis distinguishes between fears of failure, rejection, success, and the unknown. She personifies these anxieties through compelling vignettes: her near-drowning at a childhood pool party induced lifelong hydrophobia, later conquered on a trip to Barbados when she fell off a WaveRunner and chose calm over panic; her terror of dentists dissipated only after finding a compassionate practitioner; and her confrontation with a school bully revealed physical courage she didn’t know she possessed. These stories illustrate how fear shrinks only when faced directly.

Her colleague “Stephanie’s story” offers a cautionary tale: outward perfection—a great job, nice home, and designer clothes—hid a suffocating inner fear of failure and loneliness, culminating in tragedy. Davis uses Stephanie’s fate to warn against what she calls “the Golden Cage,” a comfortable but isolated self-constructed prison.

Six Steps to Face Fear Head On

• Acknowledge your fears. What you resist persists.
• Investigate their roots. Ask where they originated and if they serve you.
• Seek knowledge and reassurance—facts shrink fear.
• Act anyway, even in baby steps; courage is built through exposure.
• Affirm progress by celebrating each victory over fear.
• Imagine beyond fear; visualize outcomes that excite, not paralyze.

By repeatedly confronting discomfort, Davis transformed her relationship with fear from avoidance to inquiry. Her mantra: “You cannot conquer what you are unwilling to confront.” That shift—from dread to dialogue—turns every fear into a teacher.

Once Davis dismantled her limitations, she faced a deeper question: If freedom is possible, what is it for? Her answer lies in significance—living on purpose rather than by default. This section, which merges reflection, practical planning, and spiritual mentorship, helps readers define their why.

From Resolutions to Rituals

For years, Davis joined the 80 percent who abandon New Year’s resolutions by February. Her turning point came through an annual ritual she calls her ME-TREAT—a solo retreat every December to rest, reflect, and rewrite her life story. On Caribbean beaches, she reviewed the goals she met, forgave herself for missed ones, and crafted new priorities. Over time, this became less a vacation and more a vision summit. Her reflections often ended with a toast to self-love and lobster dinners by the sea: evidence that celebration is as vital as planning.

Discovering Purpose

Guided by mentors like Les Brown and inspired by Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life, Davis developed a life plan anchored in her personal mission: to teach, coach, and empower others to see a larger vision for themselves. Purpose, she says, satisfies the restlessness that even success can’t cure. Without it, achievement feels hollow.

She emphasizes integrating five goal categories—career, health, relationships, finances, and spirituality—and ensuring each aligns with core values. Think of this as spiritual project management: draft timelines, milestones, and success metrics. Flexibility is key; like GPS navigation, a life plan should recalculate when detours appear.

From Significance to Impact

Davis’s own plan transformed her from employee to entrepreneur, from survival to significance. Within years, she found herself speaking worldwide, publishing books, mentoring others, and, most importantly, living with joy. Her insight echoes Stephen Covey’s principle in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: begin with the end in mind. Knowing your why simplifies every yes and no. As she concludes, “Purpose is the GPS of the soul.”

“No dream is realized in isolation,” Davis writes. In her view, relationships are not accessories but assets—the new currency that determines both personal and professional wealth. After healing her self-relationship, she turned to building, sustaining, and leveraging meaningful human connections.

The Relationship With Self

Self-love forms the foundation. Contrary to cultural guilt around “selfishness,” Davis asserts that centering your well-being is an act of stewardship: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” She lists ten indicators of self-love—from accepting your flaws to managing your finances responsibly—and encourages regular self-checks. Loving yourself means honoring your own boundaries and celebrating your wins.

Creating a Personal Board of Advisers

Next, she describes building what she terms a personal board of advisers—trusted mentors, family members, and peers who provide guidance, accountability, and perspective. Think of it as your life’s governing board: fewer members, deeper trust. Davis includes her parents, daughter, close friends, and mentors like Les Brown on hers. Their combined voices helped her navigate tough transitions and fueled her success.

She also advocates cultivating a diverse professional network—people unlike you in background, age, or ideology. Diversity, she argues, expands creativity and resilience. When Davis relocated to Tampa Bay, she used LinkedIn to connect with local HR professionals before arriving, ensuring immediate community. Her network later created job leads, client referrals, and speaking opportunities. (Research supports this: sociologist Mark Granovetter’s concept of “weak ties” shows that opportunities often come from loose, diverse connections.)

Relational Payoffs

Her encounters with two key figures—her late colleague Grace and mentor Les Brown—illustrate this power. Grace’s trust in Shirley led to a career-defining contract that continued even after Grace’s passing. Les Brown’s mentorship equipped her to transform from corporate VP to global speaker. Both relationships exemplify how trust and reciprocity, not transaction, create lasting success.

In Davis’s model, networking isn’t about collecting contacts; it’s about cultivating connections that make both parties better. Or as she distills it: “It’s not just who you know or what you know—but what they know about you.”

This pivotal chapter distills Les Brown’s oft-repeated challenge to Davis: “Jump and grow your wings on the way down.” To jump is to act before you feel fully ready—to choose courage over certainty. Davis treats this principle not as reckless abandon but as calculated bravery. Life rewards movement, not mastery.

The Art of Calculated Risk

Davis recounts leaving a high-paying executive job—with benefits and stability—to start her consulting firm. Before quitting, she built an exit strategy: researching clients, saving a year of expenses, and planning services. Once prepared, she leapt. Within eighteen months, she replaced her corporate income and gained autonomy. This illustrates her formula for fearless risk: preparation + purpose + trust.

Other Jumps Along the Way

• She jumped from an unhealthy relationship, realizing “you can’t fly with someone who fears your wings.”
• She jumped into authorship, dictating her first audiobook and later publishing Reinvent Yourself and The Seat.
• She jumped geographically, leaving Maryland for Tampa Bay—a city she’d never visited—and found peace by the ocean.

Perhaps most touching is her mentoring story of Dr. Katrina Esau, who spent years stuck in “analysis paralysis.” With Davis’s coaching, Katrina listed her fears, crafted responses, and eventually leapt—publishing her own book and launching an academy on marital healing. Her success reinforced Davis’s conviction that wings grow through action, never contemplation.

Lessons from the Leap

Jumping, Davis teaches, cultivates three virtues: courage (the will to begin), confidence (rebuilt with every success), and calculation (planning with wisdom). Quoting Muhammad Ali—“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life”—she reaffirms that fear and faith demand the same energy; one imagines disaster, the other possibility. The question becomes: which future will you invest in?

In her conclusion, Davis circles back to the promise of the title: what happens when you finally live beyond “What if?” The payoffs, she reveals, ripple across every domain—peace, purpose, prosperity, and power.

From Wounds to Wisdom

After decades of struggle, Davis emerged not unscarred but unshackled. She traded self-pity for self-awareness, guilt for gratitude. For her, living beyond “What if” meant founding a thriving firm, becoming a global speaker, and mentoring others toward their breakthroughs. Yet she’s transparent: even on the other side, life throws new “What ifs”—betrayal, pandemic, business uncertainty. Today, she meets them with flexibility, not fear, reimagining setbacks as openings for invention. During COVID-19, for example, she pivoted all services online, expanding her global reach instead of retreating.

The Ripple Effect of Courage

Her closing stories of Dr. Alexandria White and Lisa Assetta embody this ripple effect. Alexandria, a first-generation college student who survived abuse and academic failure, rebuilt her life to become Dr. White—educator and entrepreneur—by daring to “be brave even when you’re scared.” Lisa, a three-time cancer survivor, applied Davis’s mindset to fight for her health and launch her own virtual business amid treatment. These women didn’t just read Davis’s ideas—they lived them.

A Mindset of Gratitude and Grace

Ultimately, Davis portrays success not as arrival but alignment: waking each day with gratitude that you’re still evolving. Her “Notable Quotables”—maxims like “You cannot conquer what you aren’t willing to confront” and “Purpose is personal; no one else was born to do what you were born to do”—serve as daily mantras. Living beyond “What if” isn’t just about achieving milestones; it’s the quiet mastery of living with courage, curiosity, and conviction, knowing that your story may just be the spark someone else needs to start theirs.