Let That Sht Go

Have you ever felt like your mind won’t stop running—cycling through worries about the past, anxiety about the future, and endless self-talk about everything you should be doing better? In Let That Sh*t Go, Nina Purewal and Kate Petriw argue that this constant chatter—what they call the “chatty mind”—is the biggest obstacle to happiness. They believe that true peace isn’t about changing your external circumstances but about changing your relationship with your thoughts. By learning to live in the present, accept what’s beyond your control, and approach yourself with love, you can stop being overwhelmed by the noise in your head and start enjoying life again.

The authors, both former corporate professionals turned mindfulness instructors, wrote this irreverent yet heartfelt guide as a toolkit for modern life. They take wisdom from ancient mindfulness traditions, neuroscience research, and personal experience and translate it into plain, relatable language laced with humor and compassion. Their premise is simple: the mind, just like the body, needs regular maintenance. And the cost of neglecting it is constant low-level stress that can spiral into burnout and unhappiness. Through more than a hundred practical tips, they show you how to “declutter” your mental space and make room for peace.

The Modern Hamster Wheel

Purewal and Petriw open with a familiar scene: you wake up already stressed, scroll through messages, rush to work, and spend the day reacting to distractions. By the time you crawl into bed, your body’s exhausted but your mind is still racing. The problem isn’t that life is busier than it used to be, they argue—it’s that you’re rarely present for it. Instead of actually living, you’re usually thinking about living: what just happened, what could go wrong next, what others think of you. This “mental multitasking” keeps you trapped in an autopilot loop, constantly doing but rarely being.

Their antidote is what they call the “mind workout.” Just like physical fitness, mental calm requires training—and the exercises are everyday acts of awareness. Whether you’re stuck in traffic, cooking dinner, or folding laundry, you can choose to anchor yourself in the moment instead of your mental chaos. This enables you to find peace even when life isn’t peaceful, a concept rooted in the mindfulness research of Jon Kabat-Zinn and echoed in modern psychology’s findings that present-moment awareness reduces anxiety and increases happiness (similar to insights found in Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now).

From Self-Talk to Self-Love

The authors argue that your relationship with yourself sets the tone for everything else. Most of us are our own worst critics, replaying negative self-talk like a broken record: “I’m not good enough,” “I mess up everything,” “I should be further ahead.” These thought grooves deepen over time, becoming subconscious habits. Using both humor and compassion, Purewal and Petriw show that breaking those grooves starts with a dose of self-love—not the bubble-bath-and-wine cliché, but the deeper kind that involves forgiving yourself and talking to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend. Exercises like “Negative Nancy to Positive Peggy” turn this principle into practice by prompting you to catch toxic thoughts and rewrite them with affirmations grounded in truth (“I’m doing my best,” “I’m learning,” “I’m enough”).

The book insists that self-love isn’t selfish—it’s self-sustaining. You can’t pour from an empty cup. By prioritizing your mental and emotional health, you become more grounded, compassionate, and resilient for others. This idea runs parallel to Brené Brown’s concept of grounded confidence: when you stop seeking approval, you can finally be authentic.

Acceptance, Authenticity, and the Power of Perspective

Once you’ve calmed your inner critic, the next step is acceptance—recognizing that a huge portion of life lies beyond your control. Weather, traffic, other people’s opinions, even how fast your email loads—none of it is up to you. Peace comes from accepting those realities rather than fighting them. As the authors put it, “Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.” This mindset shift doesn’t mean giving up; it means letting go of the illusion that you can control outcomes. Acceptance clears space for gratitude and perspective: you realize that you’re made of stardust, surviving on a spinning planet in infinite space, so maybe that unanswered text isn’t the end of the world after all.

Authenticity follows naturally from acceptance. Living authentically means showing up as who you are without trying to conform to the “shoulds” imposed by others or society. The authors draw on examples from pop culture and history—like Ellen DeGeneres coming out publicly despite backlash—to illustrate that living your truth can be challenging but ultimately liberating. When you stop trying to please everyone, you reclaim your power.

Forgiveness and the Freedom to Move Forward

One of the most emotionally powerful sections of the book covers forgiveness. Purewal shares her own harrowing story of loss—her father’s murder-suicide that took her young brother’s life—and how decades later she found peace not by forgetting but by forgiving. This, she explains, is not about excusing the unforgivable but about freeing yourself from emotional imprisonment. Anger is like holding a hot coal hoping to burn someone else; it only hurts you. Through compassion and understanding (seeing the wounded humanity even in those who’ve hurt you), forgiveness becomes possible. It transforms suffering into strength—what Japanese philosophy calls kintsugi: the art of filling cracks with gold so that what was once broken becomes beautiful.

Mindfulness, Technology, and the Everyday Practice

Finally, the authors bring mindfulness into modern life—emails, phones, and social media included. They explore how technology feeds the “monkey mind” through dopamine-driven scrolling and comparison. Their advice ranges from humorous (“try not to miss life while recording it”) to profoundly simple (“your presence is a present”). They advocate for digital detoxes, mindful use of devices, and restoring real human connection. The book closes with practical meditative techniques—like breath awareness, body scans, and visualization—making mindfulness tangible rather than abstract. Ultimately, Let That Sh*t Go is a wake-up call and a warm hug in one: stop chasing happiness “out there,” because it’s been within you all along.

The first concept the authors tackle is awareness—the art of noticing what’s happening in your head before it runs the show. In the authors’ words, you either control your mind or your mind controls you. Most people live in autopilot mode, thinking 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day, with little awareness of what’s actually passing through. This mental noise keeps you dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, robbing you of life in the present. The goal isn’t to stop thinking (that’s impossible) but to shift from being immersed in every thought to observing them more neutrally.

The Chatty Mind vs. the Observing Mind

Purewal and Petriw explain that the mind has two parts: the chatty mind, which narrates, critiques, and catastrophizes, and the observing mind, which watches that chatter without judgment. Imagine your awareness as the calm narrator watching the monkey swing from branch to branch. Every time you notice the swing, you strengthen the muscle of mindfulness. This “mental bench press” doesn’t suppress thoughts—it gives you space from them.

For example, when Kate caught herself spiraling over work projects (“I’m behind,” “my boss is disappointed”), she learned to pause and simply name what was happening: “I’m having a thought that my boss is disappointed.” Naming separates you from the emotion and lets you respond rationally rather than reactively—a cognitive-behavioral technique used in therapy today (similar to practices in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).

Training Presence in Daily Life

The authors encourage using everyday activities as arenas for practice: grocery shopping, driving, showering. Their “Now I’m walking to the dip aisle” grocery example transforms a mundane errand into mindfulness training. When you mentally narrate what you’re doing, your mind quiets because it can’t be in two places at once. Eventually, presence becomes a habit. Over time, you notice small joys—the smell of shampoo, the crunch of toast, the warmth of sunlight on your face—that the chatty mind normally tunes out.

Happiness as Your Natural State

This awareness practice leads back to one radical idea: happiness isn’t something you gain—it’s what remains when you clear the clutter. Purewal and Petriw liken it to the sun behind clouds: the light is always there; you just have to stop identifying with the storm. Neuroscience supports this—studies on mindfulness show measurable brain changes, such as reduced activity in the amygdala (stress center) and thickening in regions linked to calm and focus. Being aware, whether for a few seconds or a full meditation, helps you access this innate calm that’s been within you all along.

Many people find it easier to show compassion to others than to themselves. Purewal and Petriw call this out as emotional malpractice. You’d never tell a friend she’s “a failure at life” for burning dinner—but your chatty mind might say exactly that to you. The authors argue that healing begins when you speak to yourself with kindness and curiosity instead of criticism.

From Negative Nancy to Positive Peggy

You start by catching negative self-talk—what the authors jokingly call the “Negative Nancy” voice—and flipping it to “Positive Peggy.” If you think, “I’m such an idiot,” a replacement might be, “I made a mistake, but I’m learning.” This isn’t about sugarcoating reality; it’s about honesty plus compassion. Evidence from positive psychology backs this up: reframing negative self-talk improves resilience, motivation, and problem-solving skills (as confirmed by studies from psychologist Martin Seligman).

Why Self-Love Isn’t Selfish

A core theme of the chapter is that self-love is selfless. Loving yourself fully means you operate from abundance rather than depletion. Just as a glass must be full before it can pour for others, your energy must be replenished to give freely. Self-love might mean saying no, dropping guilt about taking time off, or simply savoring a quiet coffee before chaos begins. The authors swap the cultural model of sacrificial busyness for one of guilt-free self-prioritization: by taking care of you, you make the world around you calmer too.

Rewriting Old Programming

The book also explores where negative thinking comes from—often childhood messages (“you’re too much,” “you don’t try hard enough”) or social comparisons amplified by media. These internalized voices create deep mental grooves, much like heavy furniture leaves permanent dents in carpet. With consistent self-awareness and replacement thoughts, you can “brush out the grooves,” rewiring the mind through what neuroscientists call neuroplasticity.

Practices like writing a forgiveness letter to yourself, visualizing your inner child, or daily affirmations soften these inner patterns. Over time, the authors promise, you notice shifts: less burnout, more laughter, and the surprising ability to like your own company. That, they insist, is the beginning of real peace.

Acceptance is the beating heart of Let That Sh*t Go. Once you accept that you can’t control everything, you become unshakable. The book’s memorable examples—like fuming over highway delays or obsessing about Instagram likes—illustrate how much mental energy we waste resisting reality. Acceptance, they write, isn’t resignation; it’s radical openness to what is.

Control Is an Illusion

Purewal and Petriw use vivid metaphors: life as blackjack, the world as a hurricane. You can’t stop the storm, but you can move to the calm eye at its center. When everything around you swirls—job losses, relationships, even tragedy—peace lies in seeing what you can’t control (the storm) and what you can (your own reaction). This echoes teachings from Stoicism and contemporary mindfulness masters like Thich Nhat Hanh, who describe acceptance as the doorway to serenity.

Dead Thoughts and Silver Linings

The authors call repetitive, unproductive worries “dead thoughts”—mental clutter that adds zero value. Instead, they encourage focusing on what’s alive: perspectives that drive action or peace. The Serenity Prayer—“grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…”—serves as their north star. Through examples like canceled flights and imperfect weddings, they show how releasing expectations transforms frustration into ease. Even heartbreak, they suggest, can hold hidden gifts. Their story of a father’s stroke becoming a father-daughter life lesson embodies the book’s motto: after the thorn, the rose.

Surrender and Trust

Acceptance ultimately leads to surrender, a sacred concept meaning “I give my best, then let go.” You can plan, prepare, and put in effort, but once events unfold, you release attachment to outcomes. Life rarely matches our mental blueprints, but surrender turns that uncertainty into adventure. This isn’t passive—it’s peaceful participation. The authors liken it to surfing life’s tides: some days calm, others wild, but always rideable if you stay loose. In surrender, they explain, you rediscover something deeper than control: trust—in yourself, in life, and in whatever unseen forces keep the sun rising every day.

After learning to accept external chaos, Let That Sh*t Go helps you let go of internal conformity. Authenticity means embracing your truth, not the version of yourself built to please others. The authors declare war on the word “should,” calling it one of the most toxic in the English language. “You should have a house by now,” “You should post more,” “You should be happy.” These cultural and social expectations create constant dissatisfaction. The antidote: a heartfelt “F*ck the shoulds.”

Owning Who You Are

Purewal and Petriw champion self-knowledge as freedom. When you live aligned with your values—not others’—you stop overgiving, overexplaining, and overapologizing. Saying no no longer feels selfish but sacred. Actress Reese Witherspoon and Mindy Kaling’s reflections on learning to say no (quoted in the book) reinforce this principle: boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re declarations of self-respect.

Stop People-Pleasing and Be Unfuckwithable

One of Nina’s most memorable lessons came from her husband’s quip, “Someone shot Gandhi.” Even the most peaceful souls will be disliked by someone. So if universal approval is impossible, why keep trying? The goal, the authors say, is to be “unfuckwithable”—so centered in your own values that no one’s opinion can shake you. This echoes Don Miguel Ruiz’s teaching in The Four Agreements: “Don’t take anything personally.”

Aligning Work and Purpose

Authenticity also means aligning vocation with inner calling. The authors use the metaphor of a “rock in your shoe”—the low-level irritation you feel when you’re not doing what you’re meant to do. This doesn’t always mean quitting your job tomorrow, but finding ways to express passion within your current life. One woman in the book turned her corporate role into a wellness leadership position after realizing her true joy was helping others flourish. The message: when you make choices aligned with your essence, meaning—rather than burnout—follows.

Ultimately, living authentically means becoming comfortable being misunderstood. You stop trying to fix others, release the urge to judge, and embrace Rumi’s wisdom: “What you seek is seeking you.” The more you live as you, the more peace finds its way home.

Forgiveness is the book’s emotional climax and perhaps its bravest offering. Through Nina’s haunting childhood story—her father’s murder of her brother and subsequent suicide—the authors show the unimaginable power of releasing resentment. Forgiveness, Nina insists, isn’t about condoning wrongdoing but freeing yourself from being defined by pain. Holding on to anger doesn’t punish the offender—it poisons you.

Why Forgiveness Hurts (and Heals)

The authors cite psychologist Susan David: pushing away uncomfortable emotions only makes them stronger. True forgiveness requires “radical acceptance”—looking at your anger and pain without judgment. You don’t rush healing; you hold it gently. Exercises like writing unsent letters, releasing rituals, or visualizing pain as black smoke drifting away can create physical and emotional lightness. Over time, what once triggered rage triggers compassion—often because you begin to see the suffering behind others’ harmful actions.

Forgiving Yourself

Many people find self-forgiveness even harder. The authors encourage using the phrase “I forgive myself for…” as a daily meditation, whether for staying too long in a relationship, losing your temper, or simply being human. Compassion toward your own imperfections softens the heart and ends cycles of self-punishment. As they write, “You can’t heal what you won’t feel.”

Loving from a Distance

Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. Borrowing wisdom from one of Nina’s teachers, they describe the “love the tiger from afar” principle: you can love everyone, even those who’ve hurt you, but some you admire from a safe distance. Setting boundaries isn’t cruelty—it’s self-preservation. When you forgive without reintroducing toxicity, you transform bitterness into quiet strength. The reward is liberation: you reclaim your energy, your story, and the ability to live with an open heart.

Let That Sh*t Go concludes with a return to its central promise: peace in the everyday. All the practices—awareness, self-love, acceptance, authenticity, and forgiveness—are expressions of one thing: mindfulness. Purewal and Petriw demystify it completely: mindfulness isn’t sitting cross-legged in silence for hours; it’s the art of being fully present with yourself and others in any moment, anywhere.

Applied Mindfulness

The authors show how mindfulness transforms relationships, work, parenting, and even social media habits. Couples can reignite compassion by asking “What can I do for you?” instead of “What have you done for me?” Parents can model presence for their children by putting away phones at dinner and embracing imperfection. Workplaces, they note, benefit when leaders prioritize humanity over hustle—Google’s mindfulness program, Search Inside Yourself, being a prime example. Across all contexts, presence deepens connection and lowers stress.

Everyday Practices

The book closes with practical meditations: deep breathing through the diaphragm, scanning your body for tension, and watching thoughts drift like clouds. Even 60 seconds of conscious breathing can reset your nervous system. Technology metaphors—“close your open tabs,” “update your mental software”—bring the ancient wisdom into relatable modern imagery. The message: mindfulness isn’t a luxury retreat; it’s a life skill you practise between emails and errands.

In the final pages, the authors quote Ramana Maharshi: “If one’s mind has peace, the whole world appears peaceful.” That peace, they remind you, doesn’t come from controlling your circumstances but from mastering your response to them. When you build space between what happens and how you react, you’re no longer tossed by every wave—you become the calm ocean itself. That is the essence of letting that sh*t go.