How to Be a Bawse

When was the last time you felt like you were truly 'conquering' life instead of just surviving it? In How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life, Lilly Singh—better known as the globally celebrated YouTube star 'Superwoman'—argues that life isn't about waiting for luck or success to grace you. Instead, it's about cultivating the mindset and habits of a Bawse: someone who hustles relentlessly, builds mental resilience, learns from every twist, and finds joy in hard work. Singh contends that success isn’t a product of fame or fortune—it’s the cumulative result of learning to master your mind, your hustle, your influence, and your unique qualities as a human being.

As Singh puts it, survival is passive; conquering is proactive. Her journey from depression to massive global success forms the backbone of the book, providing an honest look at the road from rock bottom to self-made triumph. Through candid stories—from meeting Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson to learning the lesson of self-love during relapses of depression—Singh demonstrates that being a Bawse is not about perfection but persistence. It’s about taking responsibility for your own growth, choosing courage over comfort, and learning to turn pain into power.

The Bawse Philosophy

At its core, the book teaches that life’s obstacles—emotional, professional, or personal—are opportunities to show your strength. Singh encourages you to shift from 'why me?' to 'try me,' treating setbacks as training grounds for your inner warrior. A Bawse doesn’t hide from fear or sadness; they analyze it, understand it, and use it as rocket fuel for progress. This worldview is stitched throughout the book’s structure, which divides Singh’s lessons into four sections: Master Your Mind, Hustle Harder, Make Heads Turn, and Be a Unicorn.

From Survival to Conquest

Singh’s story—spanning from battling depression to standing at the MTV Movie Awards beside her childhood hero—is an example of transformation rooted in intention. She shares her turning point: realizing that surviving isn’t enough. True success requires conquering life by actively shaping your existence and striving for greatness beyond necessity. Through humor and pop-culture analogies, Singh makes the idea of self-mastery accessible, reminding readers that it takes internal fire to transform daydreams into deadlines.

Four Pillars of Power

Each section of How to Be a Bawse builds on Singh’s evolution. Master Your Mind teaches emotional discipline, self-awareness, and the ability to call yourself out when necessary. Hustle Harder explores commitment, ambition, and the art of controlling distractions (including the ever-present lure of FOMO). Make Heads Turn highlights confidence, authenticity, and the importance of being unique—without apology. Finally, Be a Unicorn reveals the secret to staying grounded while radiating individuality—being grateful, nice, and aligned with your values while following your dreams.

Why These Lessons Matter

Singh’s lessons go far beyond motivational quotes. They bridge emotional intelligence and practical strategy, showing you how to deal with fear, overthinking, heartbreak, and burnout while performing at your best. She connects the personal and professional realms—arguing that becoming a Bawse is about mastering every level of your existence, not just achieving trophies. In a world overloaded with success clichés, Singh’s message stands out for its candor: she reveals both her failures and strengths, turning each chapter into a conversation on growth.

Through humor, honesty, and vivid storytelling, Singh delivers an empowering framework for anyone who wants to stop living reactively and start conquering intentionally. Her approach mixes psychology, hustle culture, and emotional clarity—a fusion reminding readers that success isn’t an escalator, as she says, but a staircase built one step at a time. This book doesn’t promise luck; it teaches leadership, grit, mindset mastery, and humanity—making it both a motivational manifesto and a survival guide for thriving in a chaotic world.

Lilly Singh begins her journey with the most essential element of success: your mind. Before you can conquer life, you must first conquer your thoughts. She argues that your brain is programmable, and the way you feed it determines how effectively it works. It’s an idea shared by authors like Carol Dweck (Mindset) and Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now): your thoughts shape your reality. Singh takes this deeper by showing how awareness and self-discipline can turn mental chaos into creative energy.

Train Your Mental GPS

Singh uses a playful analogy: think of your mind as a GPS system. You must send it deep—beyond surface-level excuses and distractions—to understand your true motivations. When Singh asked herself why she wanted to stay single or why she worked so obsessively, she discovered that her reasons were buried under layers of fear and conditioning. Each layer revealed something deeper: insecurity, trauma, or lack of exposure to healthy models. It’s introspection turned into method—a crucial Bawse skill.

Call Yourself Out

Real growth, Singh insists, starts when you stop making excuses. In a powerful example, she admits that her perfectionism led to bottlenecked creativity. She learned to 'call herself out' when she was procrastinating or using defense mechanisms like blame or denial. This practice of self-honesty builds integrity, the bedrock of mental strength. It’s similar to stoic philosophers who taught that personal accountability leads to serenity and success.

Emotion, Logic, and Control

While positive emotions drive creativity, excessive feelings can sabotage decisions. Singh learned to channel passion while avoiding emotional overload—a concept drawn from behavioral psychology. On the set of her music videos, she learned to balance pressure and empathy, choosing professionalism over emotional reaction. A Bawse, she explains, must navigate both passion and restraint, using emotions as fuel rather than fire.

Self-Control in Action

To develop discipline, Singh created mental exercises: setting short deadlines, rewarding herself for small wins, and challenging impulses. When writing her book, she gave herself fixed times for completion—adding accountability through self-imposed checkpoints. Her message echoes James Clear’s Atomic Habits: lasting motivation grows from consistent, structured practice. Ultimately, mastering your mind means treating it like a muscle—flexing it daily until self-awareness becomes instinctive.

Once your mind is trained, Singh turns to hustle—the engine of a conquering life. Her message: working hard isn’t optional; it’s how you climb your stairs to success. Unlike the fantasy of shortcuts, Singh’s philosophy centers on persistent action. The grind isn’t glamorous—it’s gritty, repetitive, and relentless—but it’s rewarding. Hustle means fighting distractions, overcoming Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), and committing with full energy, even when no one is watching.

Commitment Over Convenience

Singh illustrates how commitment withstands obstacles with her bold decision to film with Seth Rogen and James Franco under immense time pressure. Despite nerves, distractions, and exhaustion, she refused to retreat. Her philosophy—'no coupons on commitment'—reminds you that real focus has no fine print. When fear whispers, you shut it down with determination. A true Bawse, Singh notes, performs even when conditions are far from perfect.

Conquer FOMO

One of Singh’s funniest but sharpest lessons comes from a Hollywood Hills mansion full of partying friends while she prepared for her YouTube campaign shoot. Alone upstairs, she felt every ounce of temptation to join them—but stayed focused. Months later, standing in Times Square in front of her billboard, she realized that missing a single party was worth the payoff. Her humorous analogy—'FOMO is like a tantrum-throwing toddler'—teaches that fulfillment outlasts fleeting fun. Replace your fear of missing out with 'Hustler’s FOMO': the fear of missing growth.

Create Deadlines, Not Dreams

Deadlines aren’t restrictions—they’re catalysts. Singh’s mantra 'force deadlines' turned vague ideas into real achievements. She set hard dates to move cities or complete projects, forcing herself into uncomfortable action. This transforms desires into accountability, and accountability into results. It echoes advice from productivity experts like David Allen (Getting Things Done): clarity breeds momentum.

No Shortcuts to Success

Singh contrasts climbing the stairs of success with taking the escalator—shortcuts that collapse under pressure. Viral fame or lucky breaks fade; strong hustle lasts. Her staircase metaphor teaches that consistent effort builds a foundation, each step a lesson for longevity. In a world addicted to instant gratification, Singh’s hustle philosophy offers timeless wisdom: slow, steady ambition wins over fast, fragile success.

In the third section, Singh pivots from inner discipline to external presence. 'Making heads turn' isn’t about arrogance—it’s about influence through authenticity, confidence, and intentional communication. She argues that charisma isn’t natural; it’s cultivated through kindness, clarity, and consistency. A Bawse leaves a mark everywhere they go by balancing confidence with humility.

Be Unapologetically Yourself

Singh’s encounter with Selena Gomez transforms her understanding of authenticity. Watching Selena eat Cheetos while fully made up on set taught Singh that being real isn’t about weird quirks but about embracing your wholeness—strengths, flaws, and insecurities. True self-acceptance, Singh realized, is deeper than filtering selfies or quoting “be yourself” on social media. It’s showing up as yourself, always.

Presence and Confidence

When Singh met executives or public figures like Dwayne Johnson, she learned the art of confidence through purposeful energy. Presence means you smile with intention, listen to understand, stand tall, and speak firmly. She outlines practical tools: power poses, dressing comfortably yet boldly, and entering rooms with grace. Confidence isn’t innate—it’s practiced until natural.

Say What You Mean

In Los Angeles, Singh noticed a culture of empty niceties—'love yous' and fake promises. Her antidote: speak truth kindly. Whether confronting an assistant who keeps forgetting tasks or canceling a lunch with a friend, clarity trumps politeness. 'Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean,' she writes. Transparency builds respect and saves emotional energy. (This aligns with Brené Brown’s view that honesty and empathy create trust.)

Promote What You Love

Instead of bashing negativity, Singh practices proactive positivity. Her #GirlLove campaign emerged from frustration over online sexism—transforming anger into advocacy. This lesson teaches that energy spent hating could be channeled into creation. Like Gandhi’s philosophy of nonviolent action, Singh replaces confrontation with contribution. 'Promote what you love, don’t bash what you hate' becomes a core Bawse mantra.

The final stage of Singh’s transformation leads to uniqueness—to being a 'Unicorn.' In Singh’s world, unicorns represent authenticity, gratitude, and kindness wrapped in ambition. They’re rare, not because they’re perfect, but because they stay genuine while hustling hard. Being a unicorn means turning everyday life into art through values, integrity, and a continual refining of character.

Values Over Hobbies

Singh urges you to develop values strong enough to resist temptation. 'Values don’t get vacations,' she writes. If you stay kind only when it’s convenient, that’s a hobby, not a value. Through self-created manifestos and weekly recitations of her principles, she demonstrates how anchoring yourself in ethics builds lasting self-respect. This echoes Stephen Covey’s focus on character-driven success.

Be Nice—Proactively

For Singh, kindness isn’t passive. It’s strategic. Networking after shows, sending gratitude emails to crews, and smiling genuinely on set are acts that generate opportunity. Quoting her experience with Scooter Braun and Jimmy Fallon, Singh proves that respect opens doors farther than arrogance ever will. In her words, 'people remember how you made them feel.'

Appreciate Life’s Privilege

Singh’s travels through Kenya and her reflection on wealth reveal a profound awareness of privilege. 'Your life is a photo album, and a bad day is just a single 4x6,' she writes. Gratefulness transforms frustration into perspective, reminding readers that everyday comfort is extraordinary fortune. Gratitude, she believes, fuels happiness and creativity simultaneously.

Be in Sync

Singh concludes that mastering success demands alignment between mind, body, and soul—the 'home team' that governs all actions. Your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors must harmonize. When Singh’s mind said her relationships mattered, but her actions didn’t reflect that, she realized she was out of sync. True peace—and productivity—comes when all inner parts work together as one.

Being a Unicorn, ultimately, is about presence built on practice, heart mixed with hustle, and authenticity tied to ambition. It’s Singh’s call to live boldly and kindly—to be rare, radiant, and real in a world that often forgets magic.