Divergent Mind

Have you ever wondered why you feel everything more deeply—sounds, emotions, the moods of others, even the chaos of the world—and sometimes it’s enough to overwhelm you? In Divergent Mind, journalist Jenara Nerenberg argues that high sensitivity, autism, ADHD, synesthesia, and other sensory variations are not disorders but natural expressions of humanity’s neurodiversity. Rather than being pathologized as abnormal, these differences reveal the rich spectrum of the human mind.

Nerenberg contends that society has misread women’s brains for centuries. Because psychology and medicine developed largely through male-dominated research, women who think or feel differently have often been labeled hysterical, anxious, or overly emotional. Today, women with ADHD, autism, or sensory processing differences still go unnoticed, dismissed, or misdiagnosed. Divergent Mind reframes these experiences as signs of an understudied but vital population—the neurodivergent women who process the world with greater depth, empathy, curiosity, and passion.

Understanding Neurodiversity

At its heart, neurodiversity means recognizing a variety of brain types rather than defining some as normal and others as defective. The term, first coined by sociologist Judy Singer and expanded by authors like Steve Silberman (NeuroTribes), shifts psychology from pathology to diversity. If biodiversity enriches ecosystems, Nerenberg suggests, neurodiversity enriches human society. By reframing conditions such as autism, ADHD, and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) as part of this natural variation, we invite a paradigm of acceptance rather than correction.

The Hidden Lives of Women

Nerenberg opens with her own story of feeling socially inept and overwhelmed despite being accomplished and educated. Articles about women with ADHD and autism revealed she was not alone. She discovered the concept of masking—the conscious or unconscious suppression of one’s natural traits to appear more typical—and identified with countless women doing the same. These women, trained since childhood to blend in, end up anxious, exhausted, and empty because they never see their genuine selves reflected in culture or medicine. The book seeks to provide that mirror.

Through research and interviews, Nerenberg introduces women who’ve realized late in life that they are neurodivergent: the lawyer with synesthesia who feels others’ pain, the scientist on the autism spectrum who thrives only in structured environments, the mother who recognizes her own traits through her child’s diagnosis. Each finds relief in naming their experience and begins to rebuild self-worth around sensitivity rather than shame.

Sensitivity as Strength

A major theme of Divergent Mind is sensitivity itself. Drawing on psychologist Elaine Aron’s research on Highly Sensitive Persons, Nerenberg highlights sensitivity as a trait of deeper processing and heightened empathy. Around twenty percent of people possess nervous systems that register subtle nuances in light, sound, emotion, or social cues more intensely. Women often interpret this as weakness, yet Aron and Nerenberg show it’s a source of creativity, insight, and compassion—if properly understood and respected.

Sensitivity also connects the five neurodivergent types discussed—autism, ADHD, synesthesia, sensory processing disorder, and HSP. Each involves heightened sensory or emotional awareness. For autistic people, sensitivity may mean overwhelm from sound or social energy; for ADHD individuals, it appears as hyperfocus or emotional volatility; for synesthetes, crossing of senses creates vivid empathy; for those with SPD, physical sensations can trigger distress or ecstasy. In all cases, sensitivity defines how they interact with the world.

A Call for Cultural Change

The author urges that we dismantle rigid medical and social norms. As psychiatry grew from nineteenth-century ideas linking hysteria to women’s bodies, science excluded female subjects from most studies until the late twentieth century. The result? Diagnostic criteria built mostly on male samples. Doctors fail to recognize that women with ADHD or autism may present quietly, masking, or channeling their neurodivergence into art and achievement. Reeducation requires questioning language, history, and power—understanding that concepts like “mental illness” often mirror cultural biases rather than fixed truths.

By championing neurodiversity, Nerenberg aligns with movements that expanded civil rights, gender equality, and LGBTQ awareness. She envisions “temperament rights”—the idea that your emotional and neurological makeup deserves respect just as gender or ethnicity does. In workplaces, schools, and homes, she imagines environments celebrating diverse temperaments instead of forcing conformity. This shift could reduce widespread anxiety and depression caused by living in a neurotypical-centric world.

From Awareness to Well-Being

The book moves beyond diagnosis to healing. Nerenberg explores therapies like occupational treatment for sensory balance, mindfulness and body awareness for interoception (the sense of internal bodily states), design principles that soothe overstimulated minds, and adjustments in relationships and workplaces to fit individual temperaments. Chapters on home and work illustrate how sound, light, and social expectations shape well-being—and how simple design or policy changes can allow neurodivergent people to thrive.

Ultimately, Divergent Mind asks you to reconsider what is normal. Instead of striving to fix yourself, Nerenberg invites you to unmask, embrace your sensory truths, and participate in building a society that values difference as essential. Her dream is that sensitive, divergent brains will not only be accepted but celebrated—as sources of creativity, empathy, and innovation in a world that desperately needs them.

Nerenberg introduces the concept of masking—the habitual hiding of one’s true behaviors or sensitivities to meet social expectations. For many women, this starts in childhood where being quiet, polite, and agreeable are rewarded. But masking carries psychological costs: chronic exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and a fragile sense of identity.

The Hidden Epidemic

Thousands of women grew up in systems that recognized only male versions of ADHD or autism. Research done largely on boys led to stereotypes of hyperactive, socially awkward males, while girls who internalized their challenges were overlooked. Nerenberg calls these women a “lost generation,” living unrecognized for years until their children’s diagnoses or online communities help them connect the dots.

Emotional and Physical Consequences

Masking feels like wearing a costume every day. You suppress your curiosity, mimic social scripts, and monitor every gesture. Nerenberg describes women who feel empty and robotic because they’ve learned to perform normality rather than inhabit authenticity. The mental strain leads to burnout and even physical ailments—autoimmune issues, fatigue, migraines. It’s a virtual suicide of self-expression.

Breaking the Mask

Recovery begins when women encounter accurate mirrors—research, language, and communities that reflect their experiences. Reading about ADHD or sensory processing differences often brings profound relief. The validation transforms shame into self-understanding. Nerenberg herself found that learning about neurodiversity gave her permission to stop performing and start living as she truly is.

By revealing masking as a survival strategy rather than a personality flaw, Divergent Mind helps unmask millions of women worldwide whose internal worlds have long gone unseen.

If you’ve been told you’re “too sensitive,” Nerenberg invites you to rethink that critique. Sensitivity isn’t weakness—it’s a biological trait connected to the nervous system’s heightened responsiveness. Drawing from Elaine Aron’s neuroscience studies, she shows that Highly Sensitive Persons process information more deeply, notice details others miss, and exhibit stronger empathy responses in brain imaging.

Different Expressions of Sensitivity

The author describes five forms: HSP, autism, ADHD, SPD, and synesthesia. Each manifests sensitivity uniquely. The synesthete CC Hart sees letters as colors and feels others’ pain; Sara Seager, an autistic professor, avoids touch and thrives in predictable routines; women with ADHD experience emotional sensitivity that oscillates between wonder and frustration. All share a capacity for “melting down” during sensory overload—too much noise, light, emotion, or movement.

Evolutionary Strength

Sensitivity offers survival advantages. In evolutionary terms, being attuned to subtleties—like a shift in sound or emotion—helps people anticipate danger or opportunity. Nerenberg notes studies of animals such as whales and bats whose complex sensory systems mirror human sensitivity, suggesting that human variation may also serve adaptive roles. Sensitivity breeds creativity, patience, depth, and moral awareness—the qualities societies often undervalue yet desperately need.

Reframing Sensitivity in Society

Rather than trying to dull sensitivity through medication or harsh environments, Nerenberg proposes building “sensitivity-friendly” cultures—from mindful workplace design to richer emotional education. Sensitivity, she writes, is a gift that deserves cultivation. By reframing it as opportunity, we move from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What strengths does my sensitivity reveal?”

In Part II of the book, Nerenberg explores Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), a condition that links emotions and physical sensations. You might crave certain textures yet recoil from light touch or loud sounds. SPD explains why sensory environments—homes, clothing, workplaces—can make or break well-being.

Living Inside the Sensory Maze

Women like Rachel Schneider, diagnosed with SPD in adulthood, describe both suffering and celebration. She loves deep hugs but avoids noise, learns to exercise for regulation, and discloses her traits at job interviews to normalize difference. Occupational therapists such as Sarah Norris and Carrie Einck at the STAR Institute help women map their sensory profiles—auditory, tactile, vestibular (balance), proprioceptive (body position), and interoceptive (internal bodily cues)—to build daily routines that maintain calm.

From Disorder to Diversity

Although SPD isn’t officially recognized in the DSM, Nerenberg emphasizes that this doesn’t reduce its validity. She contrasts the medical model of disability, which pathologizes, with the social model, where people feel disabled by their environments, not their bodies. Noise, overstimulation, and rigid social expectations can transform sensitivity into distress. Change the environment, not the person, and the ‘disorder’ disappears.

Healing Through Sensory Awareness

Occupational therapy becomes an act of rebellion—teaching adults to listen to their bodies the same way children in therapy do. Through swings, weights, textured brushes, and calming soundtracks, women rediscover bodily pleasure and grounding. An insight from therapist Teresa May-Benson encapsulates it: adults rarely outgrow sensory issues; they simply avoid triggers. Knowing this, therapy focuses not on cure but on understanding and balance.

By learning the body’s hidden language of sensation, you can translate overwhelm into information—recognizing what environments, touches, and movements tell you about who you are.

What happens when architecture and therapy meet? In Divergent Mind, healing extends beyond medicine to design, sound, and bodily awareness. Nerenberg’s chapters on well-being and home reveal how physical surroundings influence neurodivergent health.

Occupational Therapy and Interoception

Through sessions with occupational therapists, Nerenberg learns techniques that calm the nervous system: weighted blankets, pressure socks, gentle movement. She discovers the concept of interoception—the sense of internal bodily states like heartbeat and hunger. Researchers Lisa Quadt and Sarah Garfinkel show that autistic women often misread these signals, heightening anxiety. Simply learning to feel your heartbeat can improve mental regulation. Awareness literally soothes the brain.

Designing for Sensitivity

Designers like Ingrid Fetell Lee and Ellen Lupton study how spaces can evoke joy or calm. Lee’s research on color and pattern challenges the idea that minimalism equals peace; humans need balanced stimulation, as seen in Snoezelen rooms—soft-lit environments used with autistic children to foster comfort. Architect Kijeong Jeon creates such spaces with violet lighting and bubble tubes, proving design can heal trauma and sensory overload.

Sound, Nature, and Regulation

Sound is another frontier. Psychiatrist Stephen Porges’s Safe and Sound Protocol retrains the middle ear with therapeutic music, while acoustic experts like Bill Davies advocate reducing noise pollution. Exposure to natural soundscapes—birds, wind, water—reduces anxiety for both adults and children. Nerenberg suggests cultivating “sensory lifestyles” that prioritize nature, gentle sound, and visual comfort to nurture the sensitive nervous system.

Healing, she concludes, means designing your surroundings as an ally. Whether through therapy or creative environment, your body and mind thrive when you honor their sensory truths.

Neurodivergent relationships challenge traditional models of intimacy and communication. Nerenberg’s interviews with couples show that sensitivity reshapes love: partners must navigate noise, touch, overstimulation, and different rhythms without shame.

Shared Neurodivergence

Denise, an autistic medical student, and Tim, who has ADHD, balance each other’s nervous systems—she plans ahead, he manages spontaneity. Isabel, an autistic artist, and her husband Dan embrace their quirks, turning routines and timing differences into mutual respect. These couples reinterpret quirks like lateness or sensory boundaries as natural variations rather than personal flaws.

Therapy for Neurodivergent Love

Therapist Eva Mendes specializes in autistic couples. Her approach reframes conflict as misaligned sensitivities rather than emotional neglect. She helps clients track their “energy quotients”—how sensory demands drain their reserves—and teaches replenishment through solitude and hobbies. Mendes also dismantles stereotypes: autistic women labeled borderline or manipulative are often simply overwhelmed sensory processors.

Boundaries and Self-Care

Healthy relationships demand transparent communication about sensory needs: lighting, sound, space, touch. Mendes encourages using support systems—friends, therapists, routines—to prevent emotional meltdowns. Nerenberg concludes that loving relationships flourish when both partners understand sensory triggers not as failings but as physiological facts. When you build a home that respects these needs, intimacy deepens instead of collapsing under misunderstanding.

Workplaces, Nerenberg argues, are the ultimate test of neurodiversity. Modern office culture prizes speed, multitasking, and extroversion—traits that overwhelm sensitive minds. Yet neurodivergent people offer creativity, empathy, and insight if workplaces evolve to match their rhythms.

Stories of Change

Margaux Joffe, who founded Yahoo’s first Neurodiversity Employee Resource Group, shows how awareness transforms corporate life. After revealing her ADHD, she created spaces for honest dialogue and accommodations like quiet areas and flexible schedules. Silka Miesnieks, an ADHD and dyslexic design leader at Adobe, uses her divergent thinking to lead innovation teams. By seeing connections others miss, she pioneers “sensory design,” creating technology that feels intuitive and inclusive.

Shifting the Paradigm

Nerenberg imagines workplaces recognizing temperament rights—the right to have one’s neurological style respected. This means rethinking job interviews that penalize atypical communication and offering training in neurodiversity language for all employees. Companies like SAP and Microsoft already hire neurodivergent talent intentionally. Leaders such as Susan Cain show how introversion can coexist with effective leadership; sensitivity isn’t a limitation but a superpower when managed intentionally.

The Broader Influence

Nerenberg extends this vision to technology and design. In her conclusion, she highlights innovations from AI ethicist Mia Dand, neurodiverse architecture researchers, and neuropsychologists studying new senses like echolocation. All point toward a future where diverse sensory experiences shape everything from policy to virtual reality. When we design with the full human spectrum in mind, the world becomes more humane for everyone—not just for neurodivergent people.

Work, she concludes, should no longer be a battleground for conformity. It can be the stage where divergent minds finally lead.